May your day be not so fucked up….except yours, I hope yours is completely fucked. Yeah, u know I’m talking to you.

Psychiatrists have done the studies. It’s the new hot research in psycho-therapy. The more followers you have the greater your self-worth. Studies show varying levels determine the percentage of confidence that you have. Also the Followers to Following ratio is very important. That’s why celebrities are so high on the list. They usually have a large number of followers but follow very few people. Justin Bieber is the most secure man on the face of the earth which is quite ironic since he’s not even a man yet.

When the Following ratio is greater than the follower ratio this could be a desperate cry for help, according to an article written by Dr. Failwhale on the New England Journal of Medicine App for iPhone. It’s as if the users are crying out “like me, somebody please like me.” This theory is proven by Sally Fields following to follower ratio of 100,000 to 11.

When someone falls victim to a unfollow, studies have shown the results can be very unfortunate. There are even programs that track the people who dare to unfollow your twitter account. Those people can be contacted and burdened with the guilt of such a horrendous act. Are such programs really helpful? Are we setting people up for a bell tower massacre when we reveal such information? Only the future will tell.

The perfect balance of follower ratio for the common civilian is 550 followers 225 following, according to Google Analytics of useless information. They also state that the average celebrity should have a 10,000 to 10 count. Above average: 100,000 to 20 and Beyonce and Jay Z 1,000,000 to 0. We can all strive to work on the perfect follower count. It should be our ultimate goal in life. Once this is accomplished there is no doubt the economy will turn around, global warming will end, and there will be peace among all nations.

@Amen

Hipster: The Dead End of Western Civilization

via funnyordie.com

Father John Misty isn’t the only sexy dude, pushing Japanese Whiskey

WALKING DEAD MAD MEN

It’s butter, idiot!

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I’ve watched all of these so if anyone tries to pull one of these on me, I will immediately know it’s a joke and will therefore have to punch you in the throat. Only fair.I hate jokes, pranks, and magic tricks. True fact.

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if you are losing, start correcting their grammar. 

Rule #2

If their grammar is correct, insult them with fat jokes.