Viral Email:
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it !)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig..)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I’m still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour (Don’t try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off. (Honey, I’m home. What the…?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life…quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm…….)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than  left-handed people. (If you’re ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump  (Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat’s urine glows under a black light.. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains (I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they’ll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.  (What about that pig??, Do the dolphins know about the pig?)

REBLOGGED FROM SEX, CIGARS & BOOZE

After years of copious sex with many partners, drinking booze to excess, smokes, and drugs; endless performances in concert, on tour, and in studios; after years of sleep deprivation, staying up until all hours of the night or into the next day’s morning; after years of questionable diets and physical activity; what would you look like?

Some of our favorite rockers have fared better than others…

Take everything in moderation. Including moderation.

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here’s some video of the blessed event

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….were the chants heard on the streets of Philadelphia Sunday night. I found myself caught in a naked bike parade in the Northern Liberties section. Luckily I was prepared…with a camera that is. I’d say one out of 4 were completely naked and the rest were either topless or they went the cowardly route and left their undercrackers on.

To the men specifically, I’d like to say to some I salute you, to others I admire you confidence, and to a select few you may want your dermatologist look at that.

Rock out with your Cock out, fella’s

WooHoo!!

Periodic Table of Rockin’

At first I thought this was just another annoying Punk’d, Jack Ass, or ghetto type MTV show, but after being too lazy to change the channel (yes there is a remote) while eating dinner one night, I was completely engrossed in the episode where they bring home a mini horse, named “Mini Horse”, which was then followed by an episode  where they try to figure out how to work their mail-order time machine. They are the most unlikely BFF’s, Rob a white guy who is maybe 5’6″ and Big Black who is just that; A 380 pound 6’2, bodyguard. They are a perfect match and play off each other’s humor with precise timing. Yeah, you gotta get past the Rap, the jeans hanging off the ass, and the skateboarding obsession but you won’t get past the humor, charm and orginality of this show. Give it a shot!

Rob & Big

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In Florida, having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

Words of wisdom from Homer Simpson

This is not an appropriate place for

frosting the emperor.

For more creative euphemism click on the link below

Euphemism Generator

Nobodyhere.com who the hell thinks up this stuff and why the hell wasn’t it me!!!

Out TODAY! May 25th

David recently sat down with Pitchfork to discuss such topics as hip-hop and Carrot Top. You can and should check out that interview here. He was also indulgent enough to answer some questions by fans on subpop.com. Read “That’s What She Said: An Interview with David Cross,” here.

MP3 of I Can’t Get Beer in Me

Video trailer for Bigger and Blackerer

Video clip of My Sleep Mask