1. A vampire is dead
2. Dead people don’t have a heart beat.
3. No heart beat=no blood flow.
4. No blood flow=no swelling of the penis.
5. No swelling of the penis=NO SEX
6. Not rocket science.
It’s a myth. Rigor Mortis applies to muscles. But for a little bit of fun, lets assume it can happen. It can’t be undone can it? So Edward wants to meet the parents.
> It’s a myth. Rigor Mortis applies to muscles. But for a little bit of fun, lets
> assume it can happen. It can’t be undone can it? So Edward wants to meet
> the parents.
It’s not a myth. It happens because when you die the blood pools in certain parts of the body. These parts are the lowest. The gravity pulls the blood down and this causes the pooling. If you’re in any way straight up, on your stomach, or anywhere in between guess where the blood pools. Before the muscles actually go into rigor it’s possible to stick a metal bar up the rectum and run electricity through it and cause an erection. This has something to do with the prostate I believe.
So.. ya, if vampires are dead then sex could still easily happen.
Also… Once I figured out who (Edward guy) we were talking about I got a pretty good laugh.
Maybe u dont have humor, or you like twllight.. but that sentence reffers to “one ran from the table crying” and its quite obvious.. I think “we all know” that, isnt it?
Actually, it DOES make sense. The sentence is, in essence, “We all know.” Simply because a word or phrase is at the end of a sentence does not make it a predicate, nor does it change the basic meaning of the sentence.
And for those that may say a word is missing, it’s implied. The same was as the word ‘you’ is implied in the sentence, “Go.”
It Ain't Hemingway
August 30, 2010 at 11:24 pm
this is the greatest thing about edward cullen i think i have ever read! i love that six year old, she is amazing!
August 30, 2010 at 11:26 pm
so true hiliarous
September 2, 2010 at 2:26 am
1. A vampire is dead
2. Dead people don’t have a heart beat.
3. No heart beat=no blood flow.
4. No blood flow=no swelling of the penis.
5. No swelling of the penis=NO SEX
6. Not rocket science.
September 7, 2010 at 9:24 am
How do you explain post mortem penil erections?
September 8, 2010 at 1:55 am
it is a type of rigor mortis
September 10, 2010 at 4:11 pm
It’s a myth. Rigor Mortis applies to muscles. But for a little bit of fun, lets assume it can happen. It can’t be undone can it? So Edward wants to meet the parents.
September 12, 2010 at 11:56 pm
> It’s a myth. Rigor Mortis applies to muscles. But for a little bit of fun, lets
> assume it can happen. It can’t be undone can it? So Edward wants to meet
> the parents.
It’s not a myth. It happens because when you die the blood pools in certain parts of the body. These parts are the lowest. The gravity pulls the blood down and this causes the pooling. If you’re in any way straight up, on your stomach, or anywhere in between guess where the blood pools. Before the muscles actually go into rigor it’s possible to stick a metal bar up the rectum and run electricity through it and cause an erection. This has something to do with the prostate I believe.
So.. ya, if vampires are dead then sex could still easily happen.
Also… Once I figured out who (Edward guy) we were talking about I got a pretty good laugh.
September 13, 2010 at 2:00 am
to everyone who is questioning if vampires ca have sex….THERE”S NO SUCH THING AS VAMPIRES!!! IT DOESN’T MATTER!!!
September 2, 2010 at 2:30 am
Twilight: A woman tries to decide between necrophilia and bestiality.
September 2, 2010 at 9:32 am
“I think we all know who did.” Who did what? This sentence makes no sense.
September 2, 2010 at 9:54 am
it isn’t an english lesson, the person who wrote is is probably a teenager. Enjoy the joke and move on. Stop acting like an english major its boring.
September 2, 2010 at 10:28 am
^^^ win.
September 2, 2010 at 10:45 am
No I don’t think they were trying to act like an english major i think they are really just too stupid to undertand this simple sentence punchline…
September 2, 2010 at 11:12 am
ur probably right
September 4, 2010 at 3:18 am
Maybe u dont have humor, or you like twllight.. but that sentence reffers to “one ran from the table crying” and its quite obvious.. I think “we all know” that, isnt it?
September 4, 2010 at 3:56 am
tis, yes.
September 6, 2010 at 11:30 pm
I apologize for my generation’s anti-intellectual pride.
September 7, 2010 at 6:05 am
Actually, it DOES make sense. The sentence is, in essence, “We all know.” Simply because a word or phrase is at the end of a sentence does not make it a predicate, nor does it change the basic meaning of the sentence.
And for those that may say a word is missing, it’s implied. The same was as the word ‘you’ is implied in the sentence, “Go.”
September 2, 2010 at 10:03 am
I LOL’d. I always enjoy some good Twilight hate 😀
September 2, 2010 at 10:36 am
Hate to say it but, this is probably fake. Seriously no one is that pathetic.
September 2, 2010 at 2:43 pm
When it comes to Twilight you have NO idea how pathetic people can be.
September 7, 2010 at 9:26 am
Agreed, lol.
September 7, 2010 at 7:36 am
Who the FUCK is edwardo cullen???
September 7, 2010 at 12:01 pm
yeah, sure, ok.
September 12, 2010 at 2:42 am
Lucky bastard.
October 6, 2010 at 2:45 am
^^^^ Wins almost as much as the story when it comes to how hard I lol’d
October 7, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Comments to this one are priceless. Laughed my eyes out.