It Ain't Hemingway

Not as romantic when reality steps in.

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Today I met a woman, scratch that; Today I met a survivor. I met a survivor who has experienced more in her young life than any of us care to. I assumed she was happily married with a full life and never imagined it was the complete opposite. She told me she will be 4 months sober tomorrow and a former prostitute and heroin addict. I feel very honored that she shared her story with me and found her to be an inspiration for anyone who is struggling with addiction and self-worth.

Before she entered rehab, she was supporting her habit by working on the “Avenue” as she called it; Kensington Avenue in the Kensington section of Philadelphia. A few months ago, there was a serial killer on the loose in Philly called the Kensington Strangler. He was killing prostitutes and leaving their bodies in parks and parking lots. I think 2 or 3 women were killed and one woman got away and that woman would be my survivor friend.

She also told me a story how she was taken to the abandoned train tracks and raped. The man tormented her by attacking her then holding her and telling her “it’ll be ok” but luckily some kids heard the screams and called the police. They told my survivor friend that this man was wanted for 5 murders. He was killing women, wrapping them in rugs and leaving them by the train tracks. The police took my friend back to where the rape occurred and upon investigating the area they found 2 more bodies. After that she decided to change her life.

She had been down the road to recovery many times but not of her own free will; this time it was her choice. Tomorrow is her 4 month anniversary and if you were to meet her today you would see a fresh face intelligent beauty with a witty personality and the world at her fingertips. Her life is just starting and she plans on making a difference by helping others and going back to school to earn a degree. She shared some of her poetry with me and I was so moved I asked if I could share it with you.

Survivor

Standing on a corner
my head held down low
my tears begin to flow
my bones they shiver so hard
from the inside out
the days pass by so quickly
I’m sure I’ve lost count
I can’t believe I’m back here again
committing these actions
that I just can’t defend
Selling my soul
for nothing at all
knowing what is coming
before I take the fall
My sanity is slipping
so slowly away
I search for sunshine
in a sky that remains gray
My high is so fleeting
I quickly come down
Finding no answers
to questions profound
My heart is so numb
it no longer aches
stuck here in hell
with no meds to escape
realizing again
that I have made a mistake
Not sure how much more
I can take
I beg for forgiveness
as I’ve done before
screaming a prayer
that God can’t ignore
Please bring this suffering
to an end
cause there’s no way in hell
that I can pretend
to struggle through the chaos
for even one more day
for I just want to make
my habit go away
I just need some words
to express this desire
for I am no longer a victim
I am strictly a survivor.

I love this poem because it’s raw, honest and beautiful and written during her stay at rehab during a time she was most vulnerable. I believe in this woman and hope the best for her and I can’t wait to watch her succeed. Thanks, friend.