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In keeping with the Kings of Leon Home Movies idea, I’ve decided to create a list of what I need to do to prepare for the KOL concert in Philly on April 25th. No doubt you are asking yourself, “Why do you need to prepare-just show up!” Oh contrar mon frites, there is lots to do to prepare for a Kings of Leon concert. It’s quite involved so take notes and follow my daily updates for the next 23 days.

Thursday April 2, 2009
1. Start Lifting Weights– Certainly not for aesthetic reasons, but to build up muscle to survive the GA section. I’m no dummy, I’ve been reading the stories about the wild chicks freaking out, pushing, shoving and passing out. I’m just making sure I can handle a smack-down if need be. One shove and I will bring that bitch down! I may very well wear a helmet too! (and I am not ruling out juicing either)

Stay tuned for tomorrows entry…

Friday April 3, 2009
2. Find a Good, Reliable, and Honest Drug Dealer-This shouldn’t be to hard since there seems to be at least one or 2 on every street in my neighborhood. How do I know this? By the sneakers hanging over the telephone line. Yup, for those of you who are unfamiliar, that is the meaning behind that urban tradition. And if a dealer is shot or dies, then you may very well see about 100 of them over the line.

I need to seek out the best Pineapple Express I can find; not for myself, (those days are over) but to create a trail from the tour bus to my house.  Maybe I should just attach it to my helmet like mistletoe and light it up for an aromatic allure. (hmmm…need to research this further)

UPDATE: After many sketches and meetings with my crack staff of engineers, I think I have developed a contraption for the aforementioned helmet. It’s a combination Olympic torch/bong that will be welded on top of my helmet. I call this the “Lids on Fire-4:20 series.” (see comments for working prototype-created by my #1 wierdo, Jennifer)

Saturday, April 4, 2009

3. Purchase Day-Glo orange hunting vest. Caleb’s guitar needs to know where to find me. I may spray paint the helmet Day-Glo orange too. Maybe additional stick on reflectors will be helpful.

Sunday, April 5 2009

4. Get my Gun Show Membership Card laminated-Should be good for free access backstage right? Or at least the After Party!

gun-club-carad

(and whomever took the time to make this thank you!…seriously I could NEVER find the time to create something like this at 3am when I’m  bored, wide awake, in a state of delirium, and spending way too much time fawning over Rock Stars…nope wasn’t me..Ugh, I need to start reading or up my meds.)

Monday April 6, 2009

5. Start saving for a La Perla Bra to throw on stage. Oh yes, this is the only band who is $300 La Perla worthy. Leave the Victoria Secrets made in China crap for the Pete Wentz and John Mayer types. I’m aiming for Nathan but if it hits Caleb (who I seem to fancy a bit more then Nathan these days) so be it. All I ask is that it’s proudly displayed on the tour bus (You can sleep with it under your pillow boys but play fair and share). I’m getting the DDs not that I am actually DD but let’em think it.

Tues April 7, 2009

6. Find God….oop! sorry, wrong list.

Wednesday April 8, 2009

7. Cover myself in “POP” tarts…I have a sneaking suspicion it may help the cause.

Thursday April 9, 2009

8. TAILGATE!!!! This my friends is a list with in a list
What to bring

1. Cheesesteaks
2. Hoagies
3. Tasty Cakes
4. Cream Cheese
5. Soft Pretzels
6. Yuengling
7. The Rocky Statue
8. Batteries ( for Sam)
9. Mummer’s String Band for some pre-show entertainment. You haven’t lived until you’ve heard the banjo version of Black Thumbnail (or are they ukulele’s?).

 

Friday April 10, 2009

9. Bring a Puke Bucket for C-ass-wiggly diggly. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE A GIF OF CALEBs ASS WIGGLE AT THE END OF MSN CONCERT SERIES BLACK THUMBNAIL FOR ME? That one little move alone has kicked Nathan to the curb and I am now full on Team Caleb. No doubt he’ll be nervous knowing I’m out there. (My reasoning for his nerves: My wit and charm have won his heart through the airwaves of the interweb; these powers of mine are special…hmmm maybe I should add a cape to the outfit. His possible reasoning for the nerves: Imagining the duct tape and blind-fold I may have in the trunk of my car). I also just found a pic of The C-Factor in the shirtless vest look. I vote the new family band uniform, who’s with me?

 

Can I Get an AMEN!

Can I Get an AMEN!

Sat April 11, 2009

10. Nix the La Perla. Weave together a bra and panty set out of Weed.
Thinking the La Perla would be lost on them. Kind of a middle man thing that just slows the process. Pot Panties-that’s like screwing 2 birds with one stoner…huh?

Sunday April 12, 2009

11. Where do babies come from? a little DVD just in case Caleb is still questioning the process.

Monday April, 13, 2009

12. Remember to beat myself over the head with a bat for doing 23 days, when I should have only done 14 days tops. Hey, nobody’s that funny not even Letterman, and he’s got a team of writers…ugh!

Tuesday April 14, 2009

13.  TAXES?!??!!! I’m screwed!!!! Damn it to hell Followills…I blame you for being so distracting (yes, I’m cheating…deal…oh God, on the game as in buying time, no way shape or form am I cheating on my taxes)!!!

Wednesday April 15, 2009

14. Plastic Surgeon on Stand-By. I swear to God, if I get close enough to Matthew I will bum rush that stage and bite those damn dimples right off his face. Between the Pineapple Express, tailgating cocktails, lack of sleep, random substance and just losing it in general; I cannot be responsible for my actions. Seriously, its in KOL’s best interest to up security. I cannot stress this fact enough.  Matthew could be left with 2 gaping holes on his face, not pretty.

Thursday April, 16 2009

15. Bring Sharpie’s I’m sure they will want my autograph and will be waiting for me after the show by my bus…stop.

Friday April, 17 2009

16. Practice Writing Really Small. I’m gonna need to fit “It Ain’t Hemingway Was Here” on those teeny weeny asses of theirs. Not an easy task.

Saturday April 18, 2009

17. Surveillance Camera‘s set up outside each fancy Philly Hotel for 24 hour observation. Rent Van for monitoring camera’s. Black Cargo’s, sneakers, Kevlar vest, and hire the make up man from Mission Impossible.

Sunday April 19, 2009

18. Rent Bell Hop, Maid, Consierge, outfits. Also fake stache, wigs, contacts, and shave off fingerprints. No evidence can be left behind.

Monday April 20, 2009

19. Once I gain access to the hotel rooms steal all Baylin’s Hair care products. What the hell is her secret?!?!

Tuesday April 21, 2009

20. Beef up security around my mailbox. If I find a defaced copy of Old Man and the Sea, I will lose my shit!

Wednesday April 22, 2009

21, Sneak into the Spectrum abduct the dude who feeds Nathan his sippy straw beer during the show. Quickly change into My St. Pauli Girl outfit and serve my favorite man like a good little barmaid.

Thursday April 23, 2009

22. Therapy Therapy Therapy– one more tweet about nether regions and pantless drumming and I’m done.

Friday April 24, 2009

23. It’s Friday somewhere right? No list this time, just a few words to the fella’s.  Enjoy yourself in our lovely city of Philadelphia where if we love ya, we LOVE ya, if we don’t Duck!  Jared, you’ll earn extra points if you dig that old Phillies jersey out of the back of your closet and wear it on stage.  The Spectrum is being torn down in the fall so why don’t you boys get the demo started by blowing the roof off the joint!! Have a blast and I’ll see you in your hotel closet after the show. ( I’ll still be wearing the St. Pauli Girl get-up. *wink wink* )

Top 10 Favorite Grrl Rockers

February 14, 2009

grlrockers

  1. 1. Chrissie Hynde – The Pretenders – Guitarist – Lead Singer
  2. Chrissie can do no wrong in my eyes. Regardless of the Sid Vicious years, she is the quintessential female Rock Star. Not too Joan Jett and not to Joni Mitchell; somewhere in the middle. I saw an interview where she said KOL made her interested in music again. I hope they know how huge that is.
  3. 2. Lucinda Williams – Singer – Guitar
  4. If I were to explain her in one word it would be ICON…. She has kind of been under the radar but has a steady stream of good work in her music catalog. This I am finding out now and I wish I caught on sooner; it would have been a fun ride to see her evolve. The minute I heard “Honey Bee” I was sold. Seriously, that song makes me want to dance around and pour honey all over myself (but then the reality of it snaps me out of it…STICKY).
  5. 3. Beth Gibbons – Portishead – Lead Singer
  6. A unique talent with a voice that sounds tortured and beautiful at the same time. One of my all time favorite albums is “Live at Roseland NYC.” I haven’t gotten there new album yet but I definitely will.
  7. 4. Elizabeth Fraser – Cocteau Twins – Lead Singer
  8. I’m convinced this is the music you hear on your way up to heaven; all cottony clouds and rainbows. The names of the songs are cavity causing. I love the idea of using a string of random words that sound pretty together yet have no meaning behind them. Basically they are using the words as an instrument; what a lovely concept. Fraser has the perfect voice to pull this off.
  9. 5. Debbie Harry – Blondie – Lead Singer
  10. Please!…cool, sexy, beautiful, what more do you need. I met her at Irving Plaza and she was so unassuming and pleasant; it always makes me happy when they are NOT Diva’s. If you think about it that kind of attitude will only leave you disconnected from your audience and the real world. How can you remain a good artist if you’re not in touch?
  11. 6. Siouxsie Sioux – Siouxsie and the Banshees – Lead Singer
  12. The ultimate 80’s Punk Rock artist. Along with The Cult, Siouxsie and the Banshees were a big part of my summer soundtrack a few years back. My exploration of everything Punk and everything 80’s and it had to be hard Punk Rock. That same summer I realized The Sex Pistols were a crock of shit and fell in love with The New York Dolls (RIP Arthur), The Ramones, and The Replacements.
  13. 7. Kim Gordon – Sonic Youth – Free Kitten – Bass and Guitar
  14. I just love girl guitarists. I saw Sonic Youth at a small venue in NYC and met her at an after party Again, very humble and soft spoken which always impresses me. She is just an all around inspiring woman. Musician, Mom, Fashion Designer and, oh yeah…Rock Star!
  15. 8. Margo Timmons Cowboy Junkies – Vocals
  16. I love the Cowboy Junkies. Their music is so beautiful. If you’re into covers they have an awesome selection: Blue Moon, Sweet Jane, Rake, and my all time favorite Powderfinger. I also love it when women sing men parts and men sing women parts. I don’t know why, I guess it’s sexy to me. Having said that, check out James by Huffamoose.
  17. 9. Kristin HershThrowing Muses – 50 Foot Wave – Guitar – Vocals
  18. Throwing Muses had me at many a concert venue in the 90’s. Well more like bars with a stage. She is an excellent guitarist and Mom extraordinaire. I haven’t heard anything from her new band but I am a die-hard Throwing Muses fan.
  19. 10. Rachael Yamagata – Guitar – Piano – Vocals
  20. I first heard her when she did a duet with Rhett Miller called “Fireflies.” I just love her raspy voice and wanted to hear more from her. “Elephants-Teeth Sinking Into Heart,” is her new album and I wouldn’t hesitate getting it even if you’ve never heard a single song it is that good. I am a sucker for a good metaphor and the song “Elephants” is lyrically phenomenal. She is also now a Philly girl which adds to her fabulousity!
  21. Suggested Tracks

1. The Pretenders-Brass In Pocket

2. Lucinda Williams-Honey Bee

3. Portishead-Glory Box

4. Cocteau Twins-Pearly Dewdrops’ Drops

5. Blondie-Call Me

6. Siouxsie and the Banshees-Cities in Dust

7. Sonic Youth-Superstar

8. Cowboy Junkies-Powderfinger

9. Throwing Muses-Snakeface

10. Rachael Yamagata-Elephants

Please feel free to add to the comments with your own lists. I’m always up for being exposed to new artists.

Thanks for indulging my need to rant about everything music. Hopefully something here has either sparked your interest or entertained you on a topic you are well versed in already. Again this is just my humble opinion and if you don’t agree then clearly you must have horrible taste in music. ; )

By popular demand I added video’s to my suggested play list. Some are better then others but you get the gist.

Top 10 Fav Rocker Guys,

February 14, 2009

I am not gonna lie looks have a lot to do with some of the choices here. Superficial? Yes but i figure sex appeal makes up about 25% of a good rocker. The other 75% are the chops that make them musicians. My theory is the combination of the two creates a true Rock Star.

rock-stars41. Nathan Followill – Kings of Leon – Drummer

My favorite band at the moment is Kings of Leon and although I am not a percussion afficionado I know what I like and he sounds damn good to me. Of course there’s the guns, the eyes, the hair…I mean damn look at the dude. We don’t get a true sense of what he can do vocally through his back up and harmony contributions, but rumor has it he has some major pipes. I hope we hear more of that in the future. Maybe a little duet with his gal Jessie?

2.Caleb Followill – Kings of Leon – Rhythm Guitar, Lead Singer
All the boxes are filled on the Rock Star check list when it comes to Caleb (she said in her best Casey Kasem impression). For me its all about the voice. It’s so unique and I just love the way he uses it. Caleb’s voice is definitely his best instrument. His lyrics are really great. I love the metaphors and the slang…Guitar Go Get Her…OMG! And of course he’s a sweet piece of eye candy. I’m a sucker for tall skinny dudes (I miss the long hair though).

•••

3. Mick Jagger – Rolling Stones – Lead Singer

Oh Mick, I don’t know what it is? The energy? The hair? The ability to impregnate a woman while passing them by on the street? I don’t know but he’s like David Koresh or Charles Manson to me – I follow willingly.

•••

4. Jonny Greenwood – Radiohead – multi-instrumentalist

Radiohead is my all time favorite band. Jonny, in my opinion is the most talented and just a master at all things instrumental. He is so creative and original and clearly a well educated musician who is not afraid to push the boundaries.

•••

5. Robert Plant – Led Zepplin – Lead Singer

What a great voice this man has and incredibly sexy! I love watching the old videos of Led Zepplin in concert. “Kashmir” is my favorite song of theirs. The ultimate sex song, just put it on repeat and go at it.

•••

6. Keith Richards – Rolling Stones – Guitarist

The bad boy. I love the story of when he got pissing drunk and passed out, and when he woke up the next day he realized he recorded what would later become Sympathy for the Devil. About 3 bars were recorded and the rest of the tape was of him snoring. My other favorite story is how a magazine had voted him the most likely musician to die in the next year, and that was in the 1960’s. It really does amaze me he is still alive. Clearly he’s held together by spit and whiskey.

7. Jim James – My Morning Jacket – Lead Singer – Guitarist

Otherwise known as my boyfriend…in my head…I just love him. He goes against all my usual attractions but there’s something about him I find appealing. Maybe he just hits on that little part of me that’s intrigued by the warm and cuddly safe place guy. He looks like he’d be a good spooner. Oh yes, the music…that’s why we are here right? He rocks ’nuff said.

•••

8. Ian Astbury – The Cult – Lead Singer
Rain and She Sells Sanctuary; those are some awesome songs. Ian is holding up pretty well in his later years. I am kind of afraid to hear any of their new stuff though. I’d be heartbroken if it sucked.

•••

9. Jimmy Page – The Yardbirds – Led Zepplin – Guitarists

Just much respect for a talented musician. And of course, bad boy, sexy, drug addled, skinny…do I need to go any further with this?

•••

10. Justin Vernon – Bon Iver – Lead Singer – Multi-instrumentalist

I am going through a major Bon Iver obsession right now. They/he takes me to a very zen place. When I am feeling anxious he calms me. He’s like Xanax for the ears. I don’t advise taking Xanax and listening to Bon Iver at the same time; you run the risk of becoming a zombie.

Suggested Tracks

1. Kings of Leon – Fans

2. Kings of Leon – Black Thumbnail

3. Rolling Stones – Monkey Man

4. Led Zepplin – Kashmir

5. Radiohead –Talk Show Host

6. Rolling Stones – Sympathy for the Devil

7. My Morning Jacket – I’m Amazed

8. The Cult – She Sells Sanctuary

9. The Yardbirds – Shapes of Things

10. Bon Iver – Re: Stacks

Driving to Work Play List

1. Bon Iver-Stacks

2. Lucinda Williams-Honey Bee

3. Marshall Tucker Band-Can’t You See

4. Gary Jules and Michael Andrew-Mad World

5. Throwing Muses-Snakeface

6. Elbow-Grounds for Divorce

7. Lo-Fidelity All Stars-Battle Flag

8. Rachael Yamagata-Elephants

9. Cowboy Junkies-Powderfinger

10. MGMT-Electric Feel

Philadelphia Musicians to check out.

1. Dr. Dog

2. Rachael Yamagata

3. Andrew Lipke

4. Matt Duke

This ain’t rocket science but I just love all things music and always look for a reason to write about the subject.  Please feel free to add to this list in the comments. I love to hear your opinions and welcome fresh music suggestions at all times. If you are on a groups street team, again feel free to share!

The Video’s have been added to my list of suggested songs. Caleb’s little ass wiggle at the end of Black Thumbnail has me rethinking my love for Nathan…..nah!!!!

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