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Yet another band signed to KOL’s label. Announced on The Weeks tumblr on May 3rd.

http://theweeksmusic.tumblr.com/

“I’m elated to announce that we’ve signed with Serpents and Snakes. Details on everything coming soon, but for now here’s a few things we’re getting ready for. Broad strokes, padawan.

Firstly, we’ll be releasing a newly recorded version of ‘The House We Grew Up In’ alongside a video shot by our buds at Lunch & Recess. When that happens, you, your grandmother, and your iPad savvy toddler can all download it for free.

Then this summer we’ll be re-releasing Gutter Gaunt Gangster through S & S and touring up the east coast with our pals Kingston Springs. Venues will be announced shortly.”

October 4, 2011

diannamonroe:

♥♥♥♥mis bebes n_n♥♥♥♥

In keeping with the Kings of Leon Home Movies idea, I’ve decided to create a list of what I need to do to prepare for the KOL concert in Philly on April 25th. No doubt you are asking yourself, “Why do you need to prepare-just show up!” Oh contrar mon frites, there is lots to do to prepare for a Kings of Leon concert. It’s quite involved so take notes and follow my daily updates for the next 23 days.

Thursday April 2, 2009
1. Start Lifting Weights– Certainly not for aesthetic reasons, but to build up muscle to survive the GA section. I’m no dummy, I’ve been reading the stories about the wild chicks freaking out, pushing, shoving and passing out. I’m just making sure I can handle a smack-down if need be. One shove and I will bring that bitch down! I may very well wear a helmet too! (and I am not ruling out juicing either)

Stay tuned for tomorrows entry…

Friday April 3, 2009
2. Find a Good, Reliable, and Honest Drug Dealer-This shouldn’t be to hard since there seems to be at least one or 2 on every street in my neighborhood. How do I know this? By the sneakers hanging over the telephone line. Yup, for those of you who are unfamiliar, that is the meaning behind that urban tradition. And if a dealer is shot or dies, then you may very well see about 100 of them over the line.

I need to seek out the best Pineapple Express I can find; not for myself, (those days are over) but to create a trail from the tour bus to my house.  Maybe I should just attach it to my helmet like mistletoe and light it up for an aromatic allure. (hmmm…need to research this further)

UPDATE: After many sketches and meetings with my crack staff of engineers, I think I have developed a contraption for the aforementioned helmet. It’s a combination Olympic torch/bong that will be welded on top of my helmet. I call this the “Lids on Fire-4:20 series.” (see comments for working prototype-created by my #1 wierdo, Jennifer)

Saturday, April 4, 2009

3. Purchase Day-Glo orange hunting vest. Caleb’s guitar needs to know where to find me. I may spray paint the helmet Day-Glo orange too. Maybe additional stick on reflectors will be helpful.

Sunday, April 5 2009

4. Get my Gun Show Membership Card laminated-Should be good for free access backstage right? Or at least the After Party!

gun-club-carad

(and whomever took the time to make this thank you!…seriously I could NEVER find the time to create something like this at 3am when I’m  bored, wide awake, in a state of delirium, and spending way too much time fawning over Rock Stars…nope wasn’t me..Ugh, I need to start reading or up my meds.)

Monday April 6, 2009

5. Start saving for a La Perla Bra to throw on stage. Oh yes, this is the only band who is $300 La Perla worthy. Leave the Victoria Secrets made in China crap for the Pete Wentz and John Mayer types. I’m aiming for Nathan but if it hits Caleb (who I seem to fancy a bit more then Nathan these days) so be it. All I ask is that it’s proudly displayed on the tour bus (You can sleep with it under your pillow boys but play fair and share). I’m getting the DDs not that I am actually DD but let’em think it.

Tues April 7, 2009

6. Find God….oop! sorry, wrong list.

Wednesday April 8, 2009

7. Cover myself in “POP” tarts…I have a sneaking suspicion it may help the cause.

Thursday April 9, 2009

8. TAILGATE!!!! This my friends is a list with in a list
What to bring

1. Cheesesteaks
2. Hoagies
3. Tasty Cakes
4. Cream Cheese
5. Soft Pretzels
6. Yuengling
7. The Rocky Statue
8. Batteries ( for Sam)
9. Mummer’s String Band for some pre-show entertainment. You haven’t lived until you’ve heard the banjo version of Black Thumbnail (or are they ukulele’s?).

 

Friday April 10, 2009

9. Bring a Puke Bucket for C-ass-wiggly diggly. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE A GIF OF CALEBs ASS WIGGLE AT THE END OF MSN CONCERT SERIES BLACK THUMBNAIL FOR ME? That one little move alone has kicked Nathan to the curb and I am now full on Team Caleb. No doubt he’ll be nervous knowing I’m out there. (My reasoning for his nerves: My wit and charm have won his heart through the airwaves of the interweb; these powers of mine are special…hmmm maybe I should add a cape to the outfit. His possible reasoning for the nerves: Imagining the duct tape and blind-fold I may have in the trunk of my car). I also just found a pic of The C-Factor in the shirtless vest look. I vote the new family band uniform, who’s with me?

 

Can I Get an AMEN!

Can I Get an AMEN!

Sat April 11, 2009

10. Nix the La Perla. Weave together a bra and panty set out of Weed.
Thinking the La Perla would be lost on them. Kind of a middle man thing that just slows the process. Pot Panties-that’s like screwing 2 birds with one stoner…huh?

Sunday April 12, 2009

11. Where do babies come from? a little DVD just in case Caleb is still questioning the process.

Monday April, 13, 2009

12. Remember to beat myself over the head with a bat for doing 23 days, when I should have only done 14 days tops. Hey, nobody’s that funny not even Letterman, and he’s got a team of writers…ugh!

Tuesday April 14, 2009

13.  TAXES?!??!!! I’m screwed!!!! Damn it to hell Followills…I blame you for being so distracting (yes, I’m cheating…deal…oh God, on the game as in buying time, no way shape or form am I cheating on my taxes)!!!

Wednesday April 15, 2009

14. Plastic Surgeon on Stand-By. I swear to God, if I get close enough to Matthew I will bum rush that stage and bite those damn dimples right off his face. Between the Pineapple Express, tailgating cocktails, lack of sleep, random substance and just losing it in general; I cannot be responsible for my actions. Seriously, its in KOL’s best interest to up security. I cannot stress this fact enough.  Matthew could be left with 2 gaping holes on his face, not pretty.

Thursday April, 16 2009

15. Bring Sharpie’s I’m sure they will want my autograph and will be waiting for me after the show by my bus…stop.

Friday April, 17 2009

16. Practice Writing Really Small. I’m gonna need to fit “It Ain’t Hemingway Was Here” on those teeny weeny asses of theirs. Not an easy task.

Saturday April 18, 2009

17. Surveillance Camera‘s set up outside each fancy Philly Hotel for 24 hour observation. Rent Van for monitoring camera’s. Black Cargo’s, sneakers, Kevlar vest, and hire the make up man from Mission Impossible.

Sunday April 19, 2009

18. Rent Bell Hop, Maid, Consierge, outfits. Also fake stache, wigs, contacts, and shave off fingerprints. No evidence can be left behind.

Monday April 20, 2009

19. Once I gain access to the hotel rooms steal all Baylin’s Hair care products. What the hell is her secret?!?!

Tuesday April 21, 2009

20. Beef up security around my mailbox. If I find a defaced copy of Old Man and the Sea, I will lose my shit!

Wednesday April 22, 2009

21, Sneak into the Spectrum abduct the dude who feeds Nathan his sippy straw beer during the show. Quickly change into My St. Pauli Girl outfit and serve my favorite man like a good little barmaid.

Thursday April 23, 2009

22. Therapy Therapy Therapy– one more tweet about nether regions and pantless drumming and I’m done.

Friday April 24, 2009

23. It’s Friday somewhere right? No list this time, just a few words to the fella’s.  Enjoy yourself in our lovely city of Philadelphia where if we love ya, we LOVE ya, if we don’t Duck!  Jared, you’ll earn extra points if you dig that old Phillies jersey out of the back of your closet and wear it on stage.  The Spectrum is being torn down in the fall so why don’t you boys get the demo started by blowing the roof off the joint!! Have a blast and I’ll see you in your hotel closet after the show. ( I’ll still be wearing the St. Pauli Girl get-up. *wink wink* )

5 minute commute to the stadium but stupid fuck here forgot her cash and God forbid the stadium parking lots upgrade to that crazy modern technology called Credit Card Machines.

My seats are not so bad; I’m on J Rod side kinda in the middle on the end. I am a walking audio-visual geek armed with my phone, my flip video camera and my digital camera. I am also wearing glasses that are not strong enough but look cool. I’m also wearing what I affectionately call my Sally Jessie Raphael’s that I bought at the dollar store. Basically they are equal to the planetarium telescope as far as magnification is concerned. I love them, but I look like a 5-year-old Jared Followill, sans white dinner coat. And do I have both pair on my head at the same time? Why yes I do, thank you very much.


Stream of Consciousness

Watchmen on, Nathan was right they are awesome.
This is my kind of music.

There are 20 musicians on the stage. Looks like half of them keep wandering on and off the stage. Interesting concept.

The lead singer is tall as hell; HE’s probably 6’2. They kinda look like frat boys.
No tight jeans.

Here comes some random dude again. The triangle player, wonder if he gets any chic’s with that as his instrument; and what about the groupie who sleeps with him at the end of the night? What is that conversation with your friends like?

Oh my God, I totally hooked up with a dude in the band!
Oh yeah? The drummer?
Umm, no the triangle player.
Wha?

OK update on the wondering musicians. Turns out they are the horn section, and the triangle player is also in the horn section. Phew!

Major drunk girl sitting behind me! This could definitely be worse then the tool kit from the MSG concert. F-bomb in a high pitch squeal with a Philly accent is like nails on a chalkboard. NOTE TO SELF: Stop saying fuck in public so much and be conscious of saying YES and not YEEH. This chick makes me want to be a better woman.

Horns are amazing! Watchmen are rocking. Seriously, I love it when a band makes me say hmm, must hear more. The lead singer has a great voice and the music sounds awesome.

Gah!!! It’s the Walkmen!!!! I never get it right. It’s the Yogi Berra in me. Sorry guys u rock though, even if your not super heroes.

I wonder if they “rent out” the horn section for the gig, this band cannot be this big.

Really mixed crowd, young/old/gross/ not so gross/drunk/sober…

Dear God:
Please no tall Dudes in front of me this time? Thank you! Love you! Bye. Click. Dial tone (I am determined to make that joke work).

Walkman just held that note for a good 1 ½ minutes?!
What lungpower…wonder how long he can swim under water.

Very nice girl just sat down next to me…no doubt we will be BFFs by the end of the night. Happens every time. No one can resist my charm.

Horn section whistles too. Is that extra in the rental contract? Yes! The horn section is a rental from NYC and this is their last night with the Walkmen.

Walkmen have finished.

And the roadies take over. Man, they work fast. What is all the equipment I mean so much is involved with setting up. I wonder how it makes the band feel knowing how many people depend on them for their own careers. I don’t really know how it works but really it as a reflection on their success as musicians. If you look at it on a business level it is amazing! All the way down to those assholes in the parking lot that don’t take credit cards. Does this affect their decisions as a band? That’s a lot to carry on your shoulders.

It looks like all the Flyers fans came straight from the game over to the concert. They are all wearing their bright orange t-shirt. Thank God I chose not to wear the orange hunting vest. Caleb’s poor guitar would be so confused and have a hard time finding me.

Even some of the roadies wear skinny jeans!

I swear I keep thinking I gotta pee then when I go it’s not even enough for a drug test. IGNORE THE URGE CHRISTINA! I wonder what happens if one of the guys has to go? Is it like the puke thing and they go in a bucket? These are the types of questions I would ask if I were to interview them for Rolling Stone magazine. Oy, so sick of the canned question/answer shit I keep reading over and over. Pee breaks, the people need to know!

It is 9:01. Heads up peeps, the zoom on my flip sucks.

Jared has a new guitar, black. That’s all I can tell u about it. It’s black and its cool. It looks just like the white one but its black. Hey man, I know my guitar shit what can I say.

What is up with Philly chicks? Cover the fuck up! Am I old? There is way too much cleavage in this joint and not good cleavage. It just looks slutty…and fake…and cold…I mean come on, the girls who are like 2pds and have huge fakers look like they’re gonna tip over at any second. Not even an ass as a counter-weight. Bring back the 70s real boobs no bras. Speaking of that whatever happened to Nathan’s pink drum kit? It was so cool and it always reminded me to do my monthly breast exams.

Are my jokes too obscure? Does anyone get them? Fuck it. I’m all ROFLOL over my bad self.

Lights down…getting so excited!!!!

Ugh, obstructed Jumbotron again…WTF?
Hot Dude Alert: 3 rows down…oh no, he’s wearing PINK underwear. To me that say’s “I have a secret!” Drums yes, undies no.

There are major amounts of duct tape used by the roadies. If they run out I have plenty in my trunk.

Oh, drunk girl you are like Katherine Hepburn in A Philadelphia Story, a class act.
A fight just broke out in the GA section! I just saw some girl flailing her arms around. Girl fight? Oh God. Here comes security. The crowd is pointing out the instigator to the guards. You’ve been thrown under the bus dude! He is now being escorted out. Did that girl fight him? That’s hysterical.

One of the stadiums has or had a jail and a court, but I can’t remember which one.

And cue the church music!

Here they come!!!

Crawl
Matt is wearing a vest. Apparently vests are very popular with the ladies and they will all be happy to hear he is wearing one.

Oh this just sounds awesome!!!!

Taper Jean Girl
Trying to take video, I have a clear view. The girl in front of me is like 4’9”. Caleb height.

My Party
Can we trade that in for McFearless? No?

Molly’s Chambers

Red Morning Light
Oh sweet! Didn’t expect that. This crowd seems to know the older stuff, where as the MSG crowd not so much. Everyone is buying all their older albums now I guess. I became a fan at BOTT and did the same thing. I think Aha Shake is my fav. But Fans and bucket LOVE those songs.

California Waiting
Harsh light in my eyes, I am now blind.

FANS!
Yay!!! Crowd Loves this!

Finally the smell of Pot where the hell has that been? I was starting to wonder? Oh wait, don’t think it’s the crowd…nope…its Nathan.

MILK
Another one I love.

(I will punch drunk girl and then be escorted out, but it will be worth it).

4 KICKS
Ah yes, I ordered up this one special for my gals. You know who u are ; )

Hmm Caleb just gave himself a little chest rub, OK. Well it looked like that from here.

Caleb says a few words. Says he’s impressed by the crowd and hopes they sing along. Which means…

Sex on Fire
Zzzzzz…My new bff Natalie and I are in agreement this is not our favorite. So we chat.
Philly folk are enjoying it, fun to watch.

Bucket
Geek boys in the row in front of me are rubbing each other’s bald spots. True fact.

Notion

I requested some ass wiggles and he ain’t delivering. But the jeans are nice and tight. So damn tight I would say the man is a boxer-brief dude maybe? Hmmm. He’s got some big ass feet too, at least in those boots.

ON CALL
This is the very first song of theirs I heard on the radio. Perk my head up moment. Sold!

Another fight?! This time it’s right next to me. The guard is screaming at the guy. I missed the whole thing. He’s not getting kicked out though, just a verbal ass-whoop.

Cold Desert
Matt sure knows how to make that song sound purdy. Damn he is good. The best thing those brothers ever did was kidnap him from Oklahoma.

Caleb thanks the Walkmen.

Use Somebody
Ugh guy in front of me keeps bending down to talk to his incredibly short girlfriend and obstructing my view. I knew there would be a catch. He’s like 6’2”ft. Caleb’s wishful thinking height.

Does Jared realize the audience is behind him? He spends the whole time facing the amps. Is there a mirror attached to them or something?

Slow Night So Long
Matt is gonna need some Tylenol tonight. Major head banging.

Oh no! drunk girl just fell and tried to bring my pants with her!!! How come I get accosted at all the KOL shows I go to? Well 2, but whatever.

Natalie and I chat before the encore. She is a super fan much like me and it turns out she reads my blog! She went to MSG too. We both agree this concert definitely has a better crowd.

Some royally stoned girl next to her tries to speak to me, but I have no idea what she’s saying. I just nod and smile.

CLOSER

KNOCKED UP

Caleb is trying to say something to the crowd but everyone is freaking out. He stops and laughs then continues. Humble words much like MSG.

MANHATTAN

DEVIL SONG
Does this song have a name yet?

BLACK THUMBNAIL
Oh I love this song!!! My last shot at seeing an ass wiggle. Matt plays the shit out of this song. I think I’m having a religious experience. Seriously, he can play. His abilities are best described in my very first article about KOL, titled Kings of Leon; you can find it on my blog. I’m in heaven. No lie it’s like we just made out!

No ass wiggle WTF…oh Caleb…how could you. My horny heart is broken.

And that’s it they wave good-bye! I’m sad…its over.

Its like Christmas morning, you anticipate the day for so long. Each song is like a gift that you eagerly want to open or hear in this case. You are so excited but before you know it all the gifts are open; all the songs are played and that special day is over. I will watch the video over and over but it’s never the same as being in the moment. Hopefully, they will return and I will still believe and never lose that feeling of excitement and anticipation. I’m off to call my friends much like I did when I was little, and tell them all about the wonderful gift the boys brought to my hometown.

Thank you, Thank you…you are blessed and loved!

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Dear Ladies:

As a complimentary service for your visit to our fair city while you are on tour with your fella’s, we’d like to offer you an exclusive 99% off shopping spree on the day of the concert. We offer this service to all the spouses of our visiting bands.

You will be escorted from your hotel room to an undisclosed location ( for security purposes of course) where you will find a warehouse filled with the finest of apparel, accessories and jewels all by high end designers such as Gucci, Dior, Loubitoun…OH the list will go on (once I look up some top designer names) Stella McCartney (that’s a good one right?) It’s my understanding if you put copy in Cyan blue Rock Star girlfriends can’t read it, I don’t know why I think it has to do with interviews and their fella’s not wanting them to read some stuff, goes for their parents and their kids as well.)

All we ask of you is that you leave your belongings at the front gate with our security guard. That would include the keys to your hotel room, tour bus, houses, farms, cars, etc…(again, for security purposes of course). Get Kirby groomed, apparently one of them thinks he’s twitter follow worthy and he should be a good distraction for a couple of hours.

Spend the evening shopping, take ALL the time you want. No rush, really, long into the next day if you’d like! note to self; remove all “made in China” stickers from knock offs. Make sure Granny gets started on those fake tags. Double up her arthritis meds for the week. You will have access to the finest of apparel and accessories before they go in stores. Remember to spray paint bottom of heels Red for an authentic Loubiton look at least 2 days ahead, don’t want anyone leaving red foot marks and sticking to the floor like Bono’s wife did last time. And fucking learn how to spell LOUBITON!!!

We will also be serving dinner in our private dining area off the loading dock  with cuisine from one of Philadelphia’s finest french eating establishments. Remember to order a platter from Chik-fil-a. Also get a couple of boxes of Riunite.

We hope your stay in our city is comfortable and pleasent and feel free to contact us if you have any special requests.

Thank you ladies!

Sincerely,

Your Philadelphia Welcoming Committee

Dear Jared:

I don’t usually like to post random pictures on my blog. I would like to try to keep this blog filled with interesting stories or pictures with humorous captions much like the one with Nathan’s guns, and that pic of you and Matt which was so damn cute. So as I was saying, unrelated pictures to a specific topic won’t be found in here…..

until I saw THIS!!!!

what???!!!!

what???!!!!

JTOTHEMOTHERFUCKIN’F?!?!?!

What the hell are you trying to do to me? I have resisted for years due to the fact I am old enough to be your very very very young Aunt but now you’ve just gone too far! Seriously baby Followill you need to wear that EVERY DAY or not wear that as the case may be!

Listen, we are in a recession and you need to do your little part to help out with the nations economic struggle. How you ask?

1. By bringing joy to the lives of the poor struggling ladies of the world, no matter how young (within legal limits) or how old (seriously, my mother saw this and her exact words were “WHOA!”) via bejeweled bare chested vest wearing pictures such as this.

2. Starting the shirtless  trend which no doubt J2mff wannabe’s will be copying the look thus saving cash on shirt purchases.

3. And last but not least the market will be flooded with gold necklace purchases which will then flood cash into the economy driving down the cost of precious metal in turn driving up stocks which will then stabilize the economy and all will be well with the world.

See Jacob? That’s all you need to do. You’re like a HOT Alan Greenspan. Fate is in your hands my friend.

hugs and kisses, baby!

j-to-the-mother-fuckin-f1

is the contest over? I have a last minute entry!!!

I call it Ode to “J to the mother fuckin F”
(could also work as a vanity plate)

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