Kings of Leon in Philadelphia

April 26, 2009

5 minute commute to the stadium but stupid fuck here forgot her cash and God forbid the stadium parking lots upgrade to that crazy modern technology called Credit Card Machines.

My seats are not so bad; I’m on J Rod side kinda in the middle on the end. I am a walking audio-visual geek armed with my phone, my flip video camera and my digital camera. I am also wearing glasses that are not strong enough but look cool. I’m also wearing what I affectionately call my Sally Jessie Raphael’s that I bought at the dollar store. Basically they are equal to the planetarium telescope as far as magnification is concerned. I love them, but I look like a 5-year-old Jared Followill, sans white dinner coat. And do I have both pair on my head at the same time? Why yes I do, thank you very much.

Stream of Consciousness

Watchmen on, Nathan was right they are awesome.
This is my kind of music.

There are 20 musicians on the stage. Looks like half of them keep wandering on and off the stage. Interesting concept.

The lead singer is tall as hell; HE’s probably 6’2. They kinda look like frat boys.
No tight jeans.

Here comes some random dude again. The triangle player, wonder if he gets any chic’s with that as his instrument; and what about the groupie who sleeps with him at the end of the night? What is that conversation with your friends like?

Oh my God, I totally hooked up with a dude in the band!
Oh yeah? The drummer?
Umm, no the triangle player.

OK update on the wondering musicians. Turns out they are the horn section, and the triangle player is also in the horn section. Phew!

Major drunk girl sitting behind me! This could definitely be worse then the tool kit from the MSG concert. F-bomb in a high pitch squeal with a Philly accent is like nails on a chalkboard. NOTE TO SELF: Stop saying fuck in public so much and be conscious of saying YES and not YEEH. This chick makes me want to be a better woman.

Horns are amazing! Watchmen are rocking. Seriously, I love it when a band makes me say hmm, must hear more. The lead singer has a great voice and the music sounds awesome.

Gah!!! It’s the Walkmen!!!! I never get it right. It’s the Yogi Berra in me. Sorry guys u rock though, even if your not super heroes.

I wonder if they “rent out” the horn section for the gig, this band cannot be this big.

Really mixed crowd, young/old/gross/ not so gross/drunk/sober…

Dear God:
Please no tall Dudes in front of me this time? Thank you! Love you! Bye. Click. Dial tone (I am determined to make that joke work).

Walkman just held that note for a good 1 ½ minutes?!
What lungpower…wonder how long he can swim under water.

Very nice girl just sat down next to me…no doubt we will be BFFs by the end of the night. Happens every time. No one can resist my charm.

Horn section whistles too. Is that extra in the rental contract? Yes! The horn section is a rental from NYC and this is their last night with the Walkmen.

Walkmen have finished.

And the roadies take over. Man, they work fast. What is all the equipment I mean so much is involved with setting up. I wonder how it makes the band feel knowing how many people depend on them for their own careers. I don’t really know how it works but really it as a reflection on their success as musicians. If you look at it on a business level it is amazing! All the way down to those assholes in the parking lot that don’t take credit cards. Does this affect their decisions as a band? That’s a lot to carry on your shoulders.

It looks like all the Flyers fans came straight from the game over to the concert. They are all wearing their bright orange t-shirt. Thank God I chose not to wear the orange hunting vest. Caleb’s poor guitar would be so confused and have a hard time finding me.

Even some of the roadies wear skinny jeans!

I swear I keep thinking I gotta pee then when I go it’s not even enough for a drug test. IGNORE THE URGE CHRISTINA! I wonder what happens if one of the guys has to go? Is it like the puke thing and they go in a bucket? These are the types of questions I would ask if I were to interview them for Rolling Stone magazine. Oy, so sick of the canned question/answer shit I keep reading over and over. Pee breaks, the people need to know!

It is 9:01. Heads up peeps, the zoom on my flip sucks.

Jared has a new guitar, black. That’s all I can tell u about it. It’s black and its cool. It looks just like the white one but its black. Hey man, I know my guitar shit what can I say.

What is up with Philly chicks? Cover the fuck up! Am I old? There is way too much cleavage in this joint and not good cleavage. It just looks slutty…and fake…and cold…I mean come on, the girls who are like 2pds and have huge fakers look like they’re gonna tip over at any second. Not even an ass as a counter-weight. Bring back the 70s real boobs no bras. Speaking of that whatever happened to Nathan’s pink drum kit? It was so cool and it always reminded me to do my monthly breast exams.

Are my jokes too obscure? Does anyone get them? Fuck it. I’m all ROFLOL over my bad self.

Lights down…getting so excited!!!!

Ugh, obstructed Jumbotron again…WTF?
Hot Dude Alert: 3 rows down…oh no, he’s wearing PINK underwear. To me that say’s “I have a secret!” Drums yes, undies no.

There are major amounts of duct tape used by the roadies. If they run out I have plenty in my trunk.

Oh, drunk girl you are like Katherine Hepburn in A Philadelphia Story, a class act.
A fight just broke out in the GA section! I just saw some girl flailing her arms around. Girl fight? Oh God. Here comes security. The crowd is pointing out the instigator to the guards. You’ve been thrown under the bus dude! He is now being escorted out. Did that girl fight him? That’s hysterical.

One of the stadiums has or had a jail and a court, but I can’t remember which one.

And cue the church music!

Here they come!!!

Matt is wearing a vest. Apparently vests are very popular with the ladies and they will all be happy to hear he is wearing one.

Oh this just sounds awesome!!!!

Taper Jean Girl
Trying to take video, I have a clear view. The girl in front of me is like 4’9”. Caleb height.

My Party
Can we trade that in for McFearless? No?

Molly’s Chambers

Red Morning Light
Oh sweet! Didn’t expect that. This crowd seems to know the older stuff, where as the MSG crowd not so much. Everyone is buying all their older albums now I guess. I became a fan at BOTT and did the same thing. I think Aha Shake is my fav. But Fans and bucket LOVE those songs.

California Waiting
Harsh light in my eyes, I am now blind.

Yay!!! Crowd Loves this!

Finally the smell of Pot where the hell has that been? I was starting to wonder? Oh wait, don’t think it’s the crowd…nope…its Nathan.

Another one I love.

(I will punch drunk girl and then be escorted out, but it will be worth it).

Ah yes, I ordered up this one special for my gals. You know who u are ; )

Hmm Caleb just gave himself a little chest rub, OK. Well it looked like that from here.

Caleb says a few words. Says he’s impressed by the crowd and hopes they sing along. Which means…

Sex on Fire
Zzzzzz…My new bff Natalie and I are in agreement this is not our favorite. So we chat.
Philly folk are enjoying it, fun to watch.

Geek boys in the row in front of me are rubbing each other’s bald spots. True fact.


I requested some ass wiggles and he ain’t delivering. But the jeans are nice and tight. So damn tight I would say the man is a boxer-brief dude maybe? Hmmm. He’s got some big ass feet too, at least in those boots.

This is the very first song of theirs I heard on the radio. Perk my head up moment. Sold!

Another fight?! This time it’s right next to me. The guard is screaming at the guy. I missed the whole thing. He’s not getting kicked out though, just a verbal ass-whoop.

Cold Desert
Matt sure knows how to make that song sound purdy. Damn he is good. The best thing those brothers ever did was kidnap him from Oklahoma.

Caleb thanks the Walkmen.

Use Somebody
Ugh guy in front of me keeps bending down to talk to his incredibly short girlfriend and obstructing my view. I knew there would be a catch. He’s like 6’2”ft. Caleb’s wishful thinking height.

Does Jared realize the audience is behind him? He spends the whole time facing the amps. Is there a mirror attached to them or something?

Slow Night So Long
Matt is gonna need some Tylenol tonight. Major head banging.

Oh no! drunk girl just fell and tried to bring my pants with her!!! How come I get accosted at all the KOL shows I go to? Well 2, but whatever.

Natalie and I chat before the encore. She is a super fan much like me and it turns out she reads my blog! She went to MSG too. We both agree this concert definitely has a better crowd.

Some royally stoned girl next to her tries to speak to me, but I have no idea what she’s saying. I just nod and smile.



Caleb is trying to say something to the crowd but everyone is freaking out. He stops and laughs then continues. Humble words much like MSG.


Does this song have a name yet?

Oh I love this song!!! My last shot at seeing an ass wiggle. Matt plays the shit out of this song. I think I’m having a religious experience. Seriously, he can play. His abilities are best described in my very first article about KOL, titled Kings of Leon; you can find it on my blog. I’m in heaven. No lie it’s like we just made out!

No ass wiggle WTF…oh Caleb…how could you. My horny heart is broken.

And that’s it they wave good-bye! I’m sad…its over.

Its like Christmas morning, you anticipate the day for so long. Each song is like a gift that you eagerly want to open or hear in this case. You are so excited but before you know it all the gifts are open; all the songs are played and that special day is over. I will watch the video over and over but it’s never the same as being in the moment. Hopefully, they will return and I will still believe and never lose that feeling of excitement and anticipation. I’m off to call my friends much like I did when I was little, and tell them all about the wonderful gift the boys brought to my hometown.

Thank you, Thank you…you are blessed and loved!

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19 Responses to “Kings of Leon in Philadelphia”

  1. Jay Says:

    …I wonder if your blog will let me comment just once??

    Yay for The Walkmen! I’m glad people will discover them cos of the Kings, I’ve loved ’em for years.

    But I’m v. sad that Caleb didn’t do the arse-wiggle for you. Not even in the guitar outro of Milk?? He ALWAYS does the wiggle-walk in Milk.

    Jay x

  2. Liz Says:

    Talk about living up to my expectations!!! Another AWESOME blog!! U truly are a gifted creative writer!! As usual I am kinda freaked out at how many things we have similar opinions about when it comes to the band – however obscure it can be!
    I must say hearing early on about Matt’s attire of choice for the evening (a vest of course) kind of put me on a high reading the rest of your highly entertaining hilarious blog!!
    It also scored very high points with me because u totally give kudos to our Matthew, our dimpled guitar hero…it was a very loud shout out for ‘smokey’ he richly deserves!!
    Your description of being at a show & feeling that sensation of anticipation & how it all goes by so quickly was perfect!!
    Great to hear they are doing ‘Red Morning Light’ – I love it when they do stuff from ‘Youth & Young Manhood’.
    Also judging by Nathan’s tweet on how much he is enjoying this tour more than any before & how he thanks the Philly fans for all the love they got, I can only imagine how electric the atmosphere was. Thanks for bein’ so awesome!!
    Thanks 4 always makin’ me laugh most of all!! 🙂

  3. trish Says:

    awesome! good times. the kings always put on a good show. or so far as i’ve seen! hopefully i can see them again soon! love the commentary btw, you are hilarious.

  4. maltomeel Says:

    Great “re-enactment”….too funny about that pit fight. I had a GA ticket for myself as well as a seat in 212 (with my friends) so I could get the best of both worlds. On my way down to the floor (which was only accessible by one damn section…argh) I helped a dude out who was trying to carry 3 beers and his ticket. He asked if I was alone and wanted to come stand with he and his gf and friends, so we headed down to the pit. We’re just bs’ing and waiting for the show to start when some dude barrels through to get to the front and knock a tiny girl over. The dude I helped with the drinks pounces on him and that VERY fight ensues. Me, being the “old lady, Motherly” type attempts to stop them before they both get tossed out. They threw the barrell-er out and let my new pal stay……I kinda moved over a bit after that hoping to avoid any more insanity. Show started and all was fine although I found the crowd to be a bit aggressive and “full moony” as Eddie Vedder once referred to it. I stayed in the pit area until Sex on Fire and then boogied to my seat in section 212. I have a GA ticket for Orlando by myself and hope to avoid any more brawls!

  5. Hey maybe that was u a saw breaking up the fight. Brown hair pulled back tank top? Cool! Where I was all you could see were people pointing their finger at the guy. What an idiot. Great night.

  6. OH and Charmer was on that setlist somewhere…oop!

  7. maltomeel Says:

    Nope, I have “sun lightened” blonde(….lol….I f’ing wish). There were a couple of young girls piling on as well, too funny, you may have seen them. Oh well, almost famous 🙂

    I am so with you on the Philly-phillie style. I went out after the show and couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I’m a New Yorker, lived in NYC for many years….it’s just effortless, the chicks are COOL. Philly was strange. I never saw so many hot-pants in all my years. Odd. Lord knows I wish I could pull them off but that would be in the privacy of my own home 🙂

    BTW, we ate (ahem, drank) at Monk’s this afternoon. Unreal beer list. It may have redeemed the city.

    • maltomeel Says:

      Okay, I’ll take your word for it:) We did hang at Alpha after the show for drinks and bar food. It was certainly full of “the beautiful people”, which is hysterical because they put myself and my friends in the front window seat……we were all 10+ years older than anyone else in the place and none-too-fabulous after dancing and sweating during the show. Perhaps were were the side show 🙂 I will say that you have one beautifully clean city and plenty of great eateries with serious beer lists. For myself, that is saying a lot.

      If only I could avoid 95 on the way there…..Amtrack is lookin’mighty fine.

  8. Believe me I was surprised too. But then again it may just be more about age group cause there were tons of out of towners there. Monks is good but as for redeeming itself? You haven’t been out with me…Really doesn’t need redeeming once u see it through my eyes.

  9. Deb Says:

    Another fantastic blog, specs, pink undercrackers, pink drumkits, fights it has it all. Im gutted there were no Caleb wiggles.

  10. ticboo Says:

    Waxy, you know I love you. I’ve been waiting for this and you don’t disappoint. Commiserations on the arse-wiggling, was something wrong with his jeans?? He’s been doing this long enough, he should know better!


  11. chichi Says:

    Absolutely hilarious!! “The girl is like 4’9″. Caleb height.”

    I literally LOL’d about 5 times. Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!

  12. natalie Says:

    Hey Christina!!

    Great review as always!!! You are one hell of a writer, truly gifted..no one can sum it up like you!! You definitely made my day!!

    “Some royally stoned girl next to her tries to speak to me, but I have no idea what she’s saying. I just nod and smile.” HAHAHA!! I almost fell off my chair! Classic!

    All I can say is I really lucked out..an evening with the boys and great company next to me! AWESOME!!!! A girl can’t ask for more!

    It was great meeting you, you’re a sweetheart and hopefully we can get together the next time the boys are in town!!

    Keep up the brilliant work!

  13. Hi Natalie!
    So glad u responded. That girl next to you, she was totally stoned right? At first I thought she was with you and kept looking to you to translate for me. I’ll tell you this as soon as you sat next to me I wrote that bit about nice girl sat next to me, will be bff’s by end of show. How did I know that? Yes, we lucked out getting to sit next to each other. Great meeting you and yes, we will have to hook up again! I got my tkts for Rutherford so maybe there? Thanks for the Kudos, your the best!

  14. That was a very enjoyable recap! Felt like I was there (but without actually having to deal with drunk people touching/talking to/shouting at/blocking/ me which is a plus) I also now have incredible insight into your thinking which has me amused and concerned all at the same time. You def. rock the Sally Jessie’s – I thought maybe they were just part of your work persona- you know, the really professional one, but glad to hear you’ve decided to break those out on your personal time as well.

  15. OH MAN! thanks Debs! You are pretty damn funny yourself, and let me tell you it is my all time DREAM to write skit comedy for a show like SNL. Don’t know where this stream of conciousness thing could take me but its fun. ha! Thanks again your words are so sweet.

  16. Ha HA!!!
    Once again!….i am there with you at the gig…because you blog it well baby!!
    From start to finish you bring us all on the ride with you!
    Loving the description of the fake boobed sluts! No you are not old!…some girls just have no class…hanging out like street signs! Ladies..i dont think Caleb meant that phrase as a compliment so put em away sluts ha ha!
    And the pot smoke…good old Nathan never fails to ‘pass it round’!
    Pee breaks!…Yeah, you’re right, …we are all sick of the same interviewers asking the same questions…yawn!
    We want ‘favourite position, fantasies,how big….sorry, thats me being my pervy self **whipping my bare back with willow bark **sorry!!
    As ever…great blog…you’ve put me in the mood for the 15th….yeeeeeeehaaaaaah!!!! xx

  17. sullen Says:

    I also love the bit about 4’9″ Caleb height. Too funny!

  18. Leti Says:


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