It Ain't Hemingway

Dear Fella’s:

I would like to preface what I am about to say with the following; everything I write about is all in jest and I have the utmost respect for you as musician. It really is all about the quality and originality of the music you produce and by no means has anything to do with Nathan and his charming sense of humor, blue eyes, black wavy hair, tight jeans, sexy lips, square jaw or hairy chest. I am just trying to share my appreciation for your talent and the man…. I mean “the band.”

In the past several months I have been writing these darling little tales about you and my love for your music and have developed a bit of my own fan base. I thank you for being an inspiration to me and letting me ride on your coattails, but there is an issue that needs to be addressed. Every day I check my blog activity; I write for a few online sites and keeping up with the stats is all a part of a days work as I’m sure you are well aware. One issue I have come across is the huge majority of people who want to know how tall you are. Seriously, 9 out of 10 search engine results that bring me the most traffic is “How tall is Nathan, Caleb, Jared, Matthew…Nathan,” basically after the word “tall” just insert your favorite Followill….hmmm… what?!…oh.

Guys, come on! This is very important stuff the world wants to know. It is seriously the #1 search followed by Caleb Followill + Drugs, Caleb Followill + alcohol, Caleb Followill + Sex, Caleb Followill + STDs, and Caleb Followill + asshole (I’m sorry Caleb, that is really what they search for but I figure its all the HAer’s jealous boyfriends and maybe your brothers). Listen, you don’t have to write me back, just put the info in your wikipedia bio. I’m willing to sacrifice the blog hits for the inquiring minds.

And people just to give a guesstimate, I figure Caleb is probably about 6’2, so the other guys are a probably anywhere between 5’11 to 6’0. I think Nacho is probably the only short one which makes me think he may very well be a Roloff and not a Followill. Anyway, if you could do us all a solid and let us know that would be great…shoe size would be nice too….Nate, 13-14? Am I right??

Thanks,
hugs and kisses with tongue

Christina

very cheeky!