Nacho, guitar/mirror tech
August 1, 2009
“NACHO…MIRROR!!!”
Caleb: Dude, I told you to only ever bring me the gilded mirror!
Nacho: Sorry, I couldn’t find it in your makeup bag. You’ve got like 10 bronzer compacts.
Caleb: Hey Man, these spray on tans don’t last forever ya know.
Nacho: Dude you are such a pussy right now.
Caleb: Thanks Bro
Caleb to Reflection: Focus Caleb, Focus! This is the big time…Matt and Al are watching…you can do it buddy!!!
…and let the show begin.
A comment from Christina: I had nothing to do with this dialogue, it completely wrote itself.
Michelangelo's Nathan
July 24, 2009
F*ck David! Now this is a Masterpiece!
Michelangelo's Nathan
I truly feel this may not only be one of my best pieces of work
but also an all time low for me. Yes, I admit it,
Houston we have a problem.
I’ll beat all of you to it…I have way to much time on my hands.
Oh Well…even with a bad perm Guns McDraw is a hotty.
Warning! Contains Graphic Images…
July 18, 2009
It’s like a decapitation…It’s impossible to look away, the horror!
you will be missed
It was a brave death my friend. You may be gone but you will live eternally through the music. Rock On!
R I P Gibson
July 10, 2009
Apparently Caleb ended the life of his beloved Gibson at T in the Park.
May you rest in peace Geetar and may you finally get the girl in your next life.
Oh and let’s not forget the Drum. Kind of getting the Farrah Fawcett short end of the recognition stick.
RIP to you too!
They say death comes in 3’s, Matthew take note! At least Jared has more then one Bass.
Top 10 Favorite Albums of KOL Fans
July 8, 2009
Thanks for being so patient people! It was quite a project, over 500 albums were submitted. ALL have been counted and organized and the results are in. I think it’s safe to say Kings of Leon fans have excellent taste!
Some of you inquired about the top 10 song list I previously asked you to contribute to. I am taking another route and letting WordPress and Poll Daddy do the work for me. If you vote on the poll that I posted recently I will conclude your top songs once I post all the KOL albums and their songs. It is just way too time consuming for me to list, organize, calculate and post all that on my own.
Stay Tuned!
Reflections On A Teenage Award Show
June 1, 2009
What is the appeal of RPattz? Does anyone else see the resemblance to a man hit in the face by a frying pan? His head seems incredibly large to me as well, and I’m not talking as a metaphor for his ego, I’m talking literally. Is it true vampires cannot see there own reflections in a mirror?
Leanne Rimes singing Jizz in my pants? What!!! Perfect casting!!! Keyboard Cat? Genius! Screw Eminem, Keyboard cat would’ve been better.
Explosions, great but the addition of JJ Abrahams on Keyboard solo, oh the irony…and a performance a lot less dorky then you would think.
The popcorn head guys in the gold unitards were disturbing, who was the fey that came up with that idea? How cool was Bruno with his freakishly funny boundary pushing, incredibly uncomfortable yet sidesplitting antics? Love it! Aww, his poor ball-sack, but how appropriate he landed on Vanilla Ice who could hook him up with Ice Ice Baby…right?!
I think Kristen Stewart should take a note from Ashley Tisdale and Sandra Bullock’s excellent choice in footwear! Those puppies rocked! Gorgeous and sexy with a touch of sluttiness…kudos to both of you ladies, you looked fabulous.
Kiefer Sutherland, stick to drama. Jim Carrey, Prop 8 joke good, Swine Flu joke bad. Catherine Hardwicke what the hell were you wearing, all that outfit said was, “had to go commando.”
I would like to reflect a little on Zac. First off I would like to apologize for not giving him a chance. I admit I wrongly judged him because of his performance in HSM (which I never saw). But, I have come to the conclusion that he is freaking adorable and if I were 3 years younger…oh boy! Although I wish someone had lent him their mirror cause the hair in his eyes was driving me crazy.
I was able to catch the Kings performance before the live stream cut out on me, which of course they rocked. Caleb looked like he was having fun and I must say I LOVED his outfit. So much better then his DAD sweater. It looked like he stepped away from the swimmer killers he usually wears and pulled out a roomier pair of pants. I thought they looked great, they gave him “some what” of an ass. I’m all about the ass. I love a nice ass. Did I mention his ass? The beard is prrrrrfect. As I reflect on Jared’s performance (and by performance I mean his hotness) this evening, I have to say I absolutely love the Chace Efron look. It’ s much better then the RPattz look he use to be sporting. Matt rocked the guitar as usual and Thank God Nathan left the sleeves at home. I was disappointed I didn’t get to see what the ladies wore but maybe we’ll see pictures later. I’m sure they did not disappoint.
Well all in all it was a great promotional “Twilight: New Moon” 2 hour long commercial and I think that Andy Samberg did a great job. I’m sure they are all off having a fabulous Hollywood time but I’m off to bed and quite content at home with my real boobs, my tanless body and my live cat to write my little tales and my little clue games.
JARED FOLLOWILL…MERELY A BASS PLAYER? OOOO NOOO!!!
May 18, 2009
BABY J COMMENTARY
THE LIGHTNING ROUND
1. JROD-Bass Player/FireStarter
2. PSA: The Cautions of Too Much Hair Product
3. See what happens when u try to shake off the Hotness? Can’t be done!
4. Nate may have the KaPOW but I got the ShaZAAM!
5. Skull and Brains? Oh No, Fire and Brimestone!
6. I guess that wasn’t swimmers ear
7. When I asked for the Heatmeiser hairdo I didn’t mean literally!
8. I am the Bass GOD of HAIR Fire!!!
9. Heads on Fire…(sorry had to do that one)
10. RECALL ALERT: Apparently there is an issue with the lighting mechanism with the LIDS ON FIRE 420 SERIES…please return to the nearest Head Shop immediately!
11. Followill House of Hair…Our toupe’s are guaranteed to sustain any natural or man made disaster! Just watch this video…but wait there’s more…if u order now we will include a beard extender at no additional charge. Sick of waiting for that patchy growth to fill in? Then the beard extender may be just what you are looking for! Look how lush and full not to mention REAL Caleb’s beard looks! Call now while supplies last!
For a Friend (RIP Deb Charlton)
May 6, 2009
(This is a repost of a post I wrote many years ago about Deb Charlton who died this past Wednesday. I thought I’d share it one more time.)
I have been a music fan my whole life but growing up the bigger the star the more likely you and your friends would both be fans. Never was there any kind of music connection as there is today. Back then if you liked country you were probably southern, if you liked rock and roll you were probably a teenager, if you liked R&B you were probably black, and if you liked Bruce you were probably from New Jersey. There were no indie bands or indie stations there was not much diversity at all. I think one of the smartest things that bands like Pearl Jam and KOL have done is to include these social networks onto their websites.
I first went on to the KOL site before the MSG concert. I perused the site and contributed to the blogs and quickly made friends. As we all know it’s taken us Yanks awhile to catch onto the greatness of the Kings. The really cool thing about that is the amazing friends I have made from across the pond. This brings me to why I’m writing you this story; to tell you about my dear friend Deborah Charlton.
Debs was one of the very first people I connected with, she praised me for my funny stories and loved my play-by-play commentary about the MSG show. She explained that due to a liver condition she was in a wheelchair and if she could she would attach a jetpack to the back of her chair so she could hover over the stage while the band played. I instantly loved her after playing that visual in my head. My kinda gal. We quickly became friends and have pretty much spoken via the Internet every day since.
Debs is a single mother of a beautiful 11yr old named Amber. Deb had a liver transplant a few years back but it has since failed and she awaits another to be available. She recently started taking shots that help reduce the swelling of her organs so she can breathe properly and be strong enough to receive a second transplant. From what I understand, the shots are equivalent to Chemo and leave Deb very ill. She isn’t having much luck with the shots. She feels they aren’t working and have more of a negative result for her.
Debs was recently selected by the Willow Foundation to receive a special occasion of her choosing. This is much like the Make A Wish Foundation who grants wishes to the terminally ill, an organization probably more familiar with Americans. Deborah has chosen to see the Kings of Leon at the O2 on the 30th of June. I don’t think there’s anything else I need to say about how big of a fan she is after writing that.
The dress has been purchased and the new red shoes have been described in perfect detail to her KOL friends, and I have no doubt we are all just as excited for her as she is for herself. There is no one who deserves this more then Debs. She truly is the sweetest, kindest, most positive and freakishly funny people I have ever known. Many nights have been spent up late; me due to insomnia she because the morphine makes her wired; doubled over with laughter unable to complete a sentence. The next day I would always receive an email from my precious friend thanking me for our late night gabs that made her feel better. How she’s able to make me feel so special when she is going through so much pain is amazing.
Deb has found much strength and love among the KOL community and I truly feel her love for the music and the friends she has made have kept her going. We need Deb to be strong and get through this tough time so she becomes well enough to even receive the liver she so greatly needs. All I ask of you is to pray pray pray. Whatever you believe or not believe we need to send positive words and thoughts her way. Believe me, when I tell you this is a special person. If you ever meet her or talk to her online you are truly lucky. My wish for Debbie is to be standing at the concert with her daughter by her side dancing away in her red shoes and sexy denim dress looking as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside with nothing but a bright and healthy future with many many concerts ahead of her.
Please leave Debbie a comment here, on the KOL site, her facebook page, or twitter.
Thank you!
Debs friend Christina
xoxo xoxo
Debbie and her Daughter Amber
facebook friends of Debs check out her info page for additional contact information.
Information on the Willow Foundation
Kings of Menudo
April 29, 2009
After just 2 months back from their year long tour for OBTN, Kings of Leon are eager to get back into the studio to cut another record. Always ready for a new challenge and spicing up their music by new inspirations, KOL took the word spice literally. Check out their new cutting edge image and you will definitely get a sense of what the music will sound like. Yo Vengo Yo Vengo!!!
Kings of Menudo
Kings of Leon in Philadelphia
April 26, 2009
5 minute commute to the stadium but stupid fuck here forgot her cash and God forbid the stadium parking lots upgrade to that crazy modern technology called Credit Card Machines.
My seats are not so bad; I’m on J Rod side kinda in the middle on the end. I am a walking audio-visual geek armed with my phone, my flip video camera and my digital camera. I am also wearing glasses that are not strong enough but look cool. I’m also wearing what I affectionately call my Sally Jessie Raphael’s that I bought at the dollar store. Basically they are equal to the planetarium telescope as far as magnification is concerned. I love them, but I look like a 5-year-old Jared Followill, sans white dinner coat. And do I have both pair on my head at the same time? Why yes I do, thank you very much.
Stream of Consciousness
Watchmen on, Nathan was right they are awesome.
This is my kind of music.
There are 20 musicians on the stage. Looks like half of them keep wandering on and off the stage. Interesting concept.
The lead singer is tall as hell; HE’s probably 6’2. They kinda look like frat boys.
No tight jeans.
Here comes some random dude again. The triangle player, wonder if he gets any chic’s with that as his instrument; and what about the groupie who sleeps with him at the end of the night? What is that conversation with your friends like?
Oh my God, I totally hooked up with a dude in the band!
Oh yeah? The drummer?
Umm, no the triangle player.
Wha?
OK update on the wondering musicians. Turns out they are the horn section, and the triangle player is also in the horn section. Phew!
Major drunk girl sitting behind me! This could definitely be worse then the tool kit from the MSG concert. F-bomb in a high pitch squeal with a Philly accent is like nails on a chalkboard. NOTE TO SELF: Stop saying fuck in public so much and be conscious of saying YES and not YEEH. This chick makes me want to be a better woman.
Horns are amazing! Watchmen are rocking. Seriously, I love it when a band makes me say hmm, must hear more. The lead singer has a great voice and the music sounds awesome.
Gah!!! It’s the Walkmen!!!! I never get it right. It’s the Yogi Berra in me. Sorry guys u rock though, even if your not super heroes.
I wonder if they “rent out” the horn section for the gig, this band cannot be this big.
Really mixed crowd, young/old/gross/ not so gross/drunk/sober…
Dear God:
Please no tall Dudes in front of me this time? Thank you! Love you! Bye. Click. Dial tone (I am determined to make that joke work).
Walkman just held that note for a good 1 ½ minutes?!
What lungpower…wonder how long he can swim under water.
Very nice girl just sat down next to me…no doubt we will be BFFs by the end of the night. Happens every time. No one can resist my charm.
Horn section whistles too. Is that extra in the rental contract? Yes! The horn section is a rental from NYC and this is their last night with the Walkmen.
Walkmen have finished.
And the roadies take over. Man, they work fast. What is all the equipment I mean so much is involved with setting up. I wonder how it makes the band feel knowing how many people depend on them for their own careers. I don’t really know how it works but really it as a reflection on their success as musicians. If you look at it on a business level it is amazing! All the way down to those assholes in the parking lot that don’t take credit cards. Does this affect their decisions as a band? That’s a lot to carry on your shoulders.
It looks like all the Flyers fans came straight from the game over to the concert. They are all wearing their bright orange t-shirt. Thank God I chose not to wear the orange hunting vest. Caleb’s poor guitar would be so confused and have a hard time finding me.
Even some of the roadies wear skinny jeans!
I swear I keep thinking I gotta pee then when I go it’s not even enough for a drug test. IGNORE THE URGE CHRISTINA! I wonder what happens if one of the guys has to go? Is it like the puke thing and they go in a bucket? These are the types of questions I would ask if I were to interview them for Rolling Stone magazine. Oy, so sick of the canned question/answer shit I keep reading over and over. Pee breaks, the people need to know!
It is 9:01. Heads up peeps, the zoom on my flip sucks.
Jared has a new guitar, black. That’s all I can tell u about it. It’s black and its cool. It looks just like the white one but its black. Hey man, I know my guitar shit what can I say.
What is up with Philly chicks? Cover the fuck up! Am I old? There is way too much cleavage in this joint and not good cleavage. It just looks slutty…and fake…and cold…I mean come on, the girls who are like 2pds and have huge fakers look like they’re gonna tip over at any second. Not even an ass as a counter-weight. Bring back the 70s real boobs no bras. Speaking of that whatever happened to Nathan’s pink drum kit? It was so cool and it always reminded me to do my monthly breast exams.
Are my jokes too obscure? Does anyone get them? Fuck it. I’m all ROFLOL over my bad self.
Lights down…getting so excited!!!!
Ugh, obstructed Jumbotron again…WTF?
Hot Dude Alert: 3 rows down…oh no, he’s wearing PINK underwear. To me that say’s “I have a secret!” Drums yes, undies no.
There are major amounts of duct tape used by the roadies. If they run out I have plenty in my trunk.
Oh, drunk girl you are like Katherine Hepburn in A Philadelphia Story, a class act.
A fight just broke out in the GA section! I just saw some girl flailing her arms around. Girl fight? Oh God. Here comes security. The crowd is pointing out the instigator to the guards. You’ve been thrown under the bus dude! He is now being escorted out. Did that girl fight him? That’s hysterical.
One of the stadiums has or had a jail and a court, but I can’t remember which one.
And cue the church music!
Here they come!!!
Crawl
Matt is wearing a vest. Apparently vests are very popular with the ladies and they will all be happy to hear he is wearing one.
Oh this just sounds awesome!!!!
Taper Jean Girl
Trying to take video, I have a clear view. The girl in front of me is like 4’9”. Caleb height.
My Party
Can we trade that in for McFearless? No?
Molly’s Chambers
Red Morning Light
Oh sweet! Didn’t expect that. This crowd seems to know the older stuff, where as the MSG crowd not so much. Everyone is buying all their older albums now I guess. I became a fan at BOTT and did the same thing. I think Aha Shake is my fav. But Fans and bucket LOVE those songs.
California Waiting
Harsh light in my eyes, I am now blind.
FANS!
Yay!!! Crowd Loves this!
Finally the smell of Pot where the hell has that been? I was starting to wonder? Oh wait, don’t think it’s the crowd…nope…its Nathan.
MILK
Another one I love.
(I will punch drunk girl and then be escorted out, but it will be worth it).
4 KICKS
Ah yes, I ordered up this one special for my gals. You know who u are ; )
Hmm Caleb just gave himself a little chest rub, OK. Well it looked like that from here.
Caleb says a few words. Says he’s impressed by the crowd and hopes they sing along. Which means…
…Sex on Fire
Zzzzzz…My new bff Natalie and I are in agreement this is not our favorite. So we chat.
Philly folk are enjoying it, fun to watch.
Bucket
Geek boys in the row in front of me are rubbing each other’s bald spots. True fact.
Notion
I requested some ass wiggles and he ain’t delivering. But the jeans are nice and tight. So damn tight I would say the man is a boxer-brief dude maybe? Hmmm. He’s got some big ass feet too, at least in those boots.
ON CALL
This is the very first song of theirs I heard on the radio. Perk my head up moment. Sold!
Another fight?! This time it’s right next to me. The guard is screaming at the guy. I missed the whole thing. He’s not getting kicked out though, just a verbal ass-whoop.
Cold Desert
Matt sure knows how to make that song sound purdy. Damn he is good. The best thing those brothers ever did was kidnap him from Oklahoma.
Caleb thanks the Walkmen.
Use Somebody
Ugh guy in front of me keeps bending down to talk to his incredibly short girlfriend and obstructing my view. I knew there would be a catch. He’s like 6’2”ft. Caleb’s wishful thinking height.
Does Jared realize the audience is behind him? He spends the whole time facing the amps. Is there a mirror attached to them or something?
Slow Night So Long
Matt is gonna need some Tylenol tonight. Major head banging.
Oh no! drunk girl just fell and tried to bring my pants with her!!! How come I get accosted at all the KOL shows I go to? Well 2, but whatever.
Natalie and I chat before the encore. She is a super fan much like me and it turns out she reads my blog! She went to MSG too. We both agree this concert definitely has a better crowd.
Some royally stoned girl next to her tries to speak to me, but I have no idea what she’s saying. I just nod and smile.
CLOSER
KNOCKED UP
Caleb is trying to say something to the crowd but everyone is freaking out. He stops and laughs then continues. Humble words much like MSG.
MANHATTAN
DEVIL SONG
Does this song have a name yet?
BLACK THUMBNAIL
Oh I love this song!!! My last shot at seeing an ass wiggle. Matt plays the shit out of this song. I think I’m having a religious experience. Seriously, he can play. His abilities are best described in my very first article about KOL, titled Kings of Leon; you can find it on my blog. I’m in heaven. No lie it’s like we just made out!
No ass wiggle WTF…oh Caleb…how could you. My horny heart is broken.
And that’s it they wave good-bye! I’m sad…its over.
Its like Christmas morning, you anticipate the day for so long. Each song is like a gift that you eagerly want to open or hear in this case. You are so excited but before you know it all the gifts are open; all the songs are played and that special day is over. I will watch the video over and over but it’s never the same as being in the moment. Hopefully, they will return and I will still believe and never lose that feeling of excitement and anticipation. I’m off to call my friends much like I did when I was little, and tell them all about the wonderful gift the boys brought to my hometown.
Thank you, Thank you…you are blessed and loved!
Open Letter to the Followill Girlfriends
April 15, 2009
Dear Ladies:
As a complimentary service for your visit to our fair city while you are on tour with your fella’s, we’d like to offer you an exclusive 99% off shopping spree on the day of the concert. We offer this service to all the spouses of our visiting bands.
You will be escorted from your hotel room to an undisclosed location ( for security purposes of course) where you will find a warehouse filled with the finest of apparel, accessories and jewels all by high end designers such as Gucci, Dior, Loubitoun…OH the list will go on (once I look up some top designer names) Stella McCartney (that’s a good one right?) It’s my understanding if you put copy in Cyan blue Rock Star girlfriends can’t read it, I don’t know why I think it has to do with interviews and their fella’s not wanting them to read some stuff, goes for their parents and their kids as well.)
All we ask of you is that you leave your belongings at the front gate with our security guard. That would include the keys to your hotel room, tour bus, houses, farms, cars, etc…(again, for security purposes of course). Get Kirby groomed, apparently one of them thinks he’s twitter follow worthy and he should be a good distraction for a couple of hours.
Spend the evening shopping, take ALL the time you want. No rush, really, long into the next day if you’d like! note to self; remove all “made in China” stickers from knock offs. Make sure Granny gets started on those fake tags. Double up her arthritis meds for the week. You will have access to the finest of apparel and accessories before they go in stores. Remember to spray paint bottom of heels Red for an authentic Loubiton look at least 2 days ahead, don’t want anyone leaving red foot marks and sticking to the floor like Bono’s wife did last time. And fucking learn how to spell LOUBITON!!!
We will also be serving dinner in our private dining area off the loading dock with cuisine from one of Philadelphia’s finest french eating establishments. Remember to order a platter from Chik-fil-a. Also get a couple of boxes of Riunite.
We hope your stay in our city is comfortable and pleasent and feel free to contact us if you have any special requests.
Thank you ladies!
Sincerely,
Your Philadelphia Welcoming Committee
Open Letter to Jared Followill
March 30, 2009
Dear Jared:
I don’t usually like to post random pictures on my blog. I would like to try to keep this blog filled with interesting stories or pictures with humorous captions much like the one with Nathan’s guns, and that pic of you and Matt which was so damn cute. So as I was saying, unrelated pictures to a specific topic won’t be found in here…..
until I saw THIS!!!!
what???!!!!
JTOTHEMOTHERFUCKIN’F?!?!?!
What the hell are you trying to do to me? I have resisted for years due to the fact I am old enough to be your very very very young Aunt but now you’ve just gone too far! Seriously baby Followill you need to wear that EVERY DAY or not wear that as the case may be!
Listen, we are in a recession and you need to do your little part to help out with the nations economic struggle. How you ask?
1. By bringing joy to the lives of the poor struggling ladies of the world, no matter how young (within legal limits) or how old (seriously, my mother saw this and her exact words were “WHOA!”) via bejeweled bare chested vest wearing pictures such as this.
2. Starting the shirtless trend which no doubt J2mff wannabe’s will be copying the look thus saving cash on shirt purchases.
3. And last but not least the market will be flooded with gold necklace purchases which will then flood cash into the economy driving down the cost of precious metal in turn driving up stocks which will then stabilize the economy and all will be well with the world.
See Jacob? That’s all you need to do. You’re like a HOT Alan Greenspan. Fate is in your hands my friend.
hugs and kisses, baby!
is the contest over? I have a last minute entry!!!
I call it Ode to “J to the mother fuckin F”
(could also work as a vanity plate)
Nathan Followill: Conversations with my Guns
March 20, 2009
Oh hello! What’s your name? Smith?
Nice to meet you Smith. Enjoy the show…
…and you? What’s your Name? Wesson?
Hello Wesson, are you two twins?
A Love Like No Other
March 11, 2009
Open Letter to Kings of Leon
February 24, 2009
Dear Fella’s:
I would like to preface what I am about to say with the following; everything I write about is all in jest and I have the utmost respect for you as musician. It really is all about the quality and originality of the music you produce and by no means has anything to do with Nathan and his charming sense of humor, blue eyes, black wavy hair, tight jeans, sexy lips, square jaw or hairy chest. I am just trying to share my appreciation for your talent and the man…. I mean “the band.”
In the past several months I have been writing these darling little tales about you and my love for your music and have developed a bit of my own fan base. I thank you for being an inspiration to me and letting me ride on your coattails, but there is an issue that needs to be addressed. Every day I check my blog activity; I write for a few online sites and keeping up with the stats is all a part of a days work as I’m sure you are well aware. One issue I have come across is the huge majority of people who want to know how tall you are. Seriously, 9 out of 10 search engine results that bring me the most traffic is “How tall is Nathan, Caleb, Jared, Matthew…Nathan,” basically after the word “tall” just insert your favorite Followill….hmmm… what?!…oh.
Guys, come on! This is very important stuff the world wants to know. It is seriously the #1 search followed by Caleb Followill + Drugs, Caleb Followill + alcohol, Caleb Followill + Sex, Caleb Followill + STDs, and Caleb Followill + asshole (I’m sorry Caleb, that is really what they search for but I figure its all the HAer’s jealous boyfriends and maybe your brothers). Listen, you don’t have to write me back, just put the info in your wikipedia bio. I’m willing to sacrifice the blog hits for the inquiring minds.
And people just to give a guesstimate, I figure Caleb is probably about 6’2, so the other guys are a probably anywhere between 5’11 to 6’0. I think Nacho is probably the only short one which makes me think he may very well be a Roloff and not a Followill. Anyway, if you could do us all a solid and let us know that would be great…shoe size would be nice too….Nate, 13-14? Am I right??
Thanks,
hugs and kisses with tongue
Christina
This just in: I have it on good authority that Caleb Followill is actually 4’9″ those are some mighty high heels he wears to make up the difference.very cheeky!
Top 10 Fav Rocker Guys,
February 14, 2009
I am not gonna lie looks have a lot to do with some of the choices here. Superficial? Yes but i figure sex appeal makes up about 25% of a good rocker. The other 75% are the chops that make them musicians. My theory is the combination of the two creates a true Rock Star.
1. Nathan Followill – Kings of Leon – Drummer
My favorite band at the moment is Kings of Leon and although I am not a percussion afficionado I know what I like and he sounds damn good to me. Of course there’s the guns, the eyes, the hair…I mean damn look at the dude. We don’t get a true sense of what he can do vocally through his back up and harmony contributions, but rumor has it he has some major pipes. I hope we hear more of that in the future. Maybe a little duet with his gal Jessie?
2.Caleb Followill – Kings of Leon – Rhythm Guitar, Lead Singer
All the boxes are filled on the Rock Star check list when it comes to Caleb (she said in her best Casey Kasem impression). For me its all about the voice. It’s so unique and I just love the way he uses it. Caleb’s voice is definitely his best instrument. His lyrics are really great. I love the metaphors and the slang…Guitar Go Get Her…OMG! And of course he’s a sweet piece of eye candy. I’m a sucker for tall skinny dudes (I miss the long hair though).
•••
3. Mick Jagger – Rolling Stones – Lead Singer
Oh Mick, I don’t know what it is? The energy? The hair? The ability to impregnate a woman while passing them by on the street? I don’t know but he’s like David Koresh or Charles Manson to me – I follow willingly.
•••
4. Jonny Greenwood – Radiohead – multi-instrumentalist
Radiohead is my all time favorite band. Jonny, in my opinion is the most talented and just a master at all things instrumental. He is so creative and original and clearly a well educated musician who is not afraid to push the boundaries.
•••
5. Robert Plant – Led Zepplin – Lead Singer
What a great voice this man has and incredibly sexy! I love watching the old videos of Led Zepplin in concert. “Kashmir” is my favorite song of theirs. The ultimate sex song, just put it on repeat and go at it.
•••
6. Keith Richards – Rolling Stones – Guitarist
The bad boy. I love the story of when he got pissing drunk and passed out, and when he woke up the next day he realized he recorded what would later become Sympathy for the Devil. About 3 bars were recorded and the rest of the tape was of him snoring. My other favorite story is how a magazine had voted him the most likely musician to die in the next year, and that was in the 1960’s. It really does amaze me he is still alive. Clearly he’s held together by spit and whiskey.
7. Jim James – My Morning Jacket – Lead Singer – Guitarist
Otherwise known as my boyfriend…in my head…I just love him. He goes against all my usual attractions but there’s something about him I find appealing. Maybe he just hits on that little part of me that’s intrigued by the warm and cuddly safe place guy. He looks like he’d be a good spooner. Oh yes, the music…that’s why we are here right? He rocks ’nuff said.
•••
8. Ian Astbury – The Cult – Lead Singer
Rain and She Sells Sanctuary; those are some awesome songs. Ian is holding up pretty well in his later years. I am kind of afraid to hear any of their new stuff though. I’d be heartbroken if it sucked.
•••
9. Jimmy Page – The Yardbirds – Led Zepplin – Guitarists
Just much respect for a talented musician. And of course, bad boy, sexy, drug addled, skinny…do I need to go any further with this?
•••
10. Justin Vernon – Bon Iver – Lead Singer – Multi-instrumentalist
I am going through a major Bon Iver obsession right now. They/he takes me to a very zen place. When I am feeling anxious he calms me. He’s like Xanax for the ears. I don’t advise taking Xanax and listening to Bon Iver at the same time; you run the risk of becoming a zombie.
Suggested Tracks
1. Kings of Leon – Fans
2. Kings of Leon – Black Thumbnail
3. Rolling Stones – Monkey Man
4. Led Zepplin – Kashmir
5. Radiohead –Talk Show Host
6. Rolling Stones – Sympathy for the Devil
7. My Morning Jacket – I’m Amazed
8. The Cult – She Sells Sanctuary
9. The Yardbirds – Shapes of Things
10. Bon Iver – Re: Stacks
Driving to Work Play List
1. Bon Iver-Stacks
2. Lucinda Williams-Honey Bee
3. Marshall Tucker Band-Can’t You See
4. Gary Jules and Michael Andrew-Mad World
5. Throwing Muses-Snakeface
6. Elbow-Grounds for Divorce
7. Lo-Fidelity All Stars-Battle Flag
8. Rachael Yamagata-Elephants
9. Cowboy Junkies-Powderfinger
10. MGMT-Electric Feel
Philadelphia Musicians to check out.
1. Dr. Dog
2. Rachael Yamagata
3. Andrew Lipke
4. Matt Duke
This ain’t rocket science but I just love all things music and always look for a reason to write about the subject. Please feel free to add to this list in the comments. I love to hear your opinions and welcome fresh music suggestions at all times. If you are on a groups street team, again feel free to share!
The Video’s have been added to my list of suggested songs. Caleb’s little ass wiggle at the end of Black Thumbnail has me rethinking my love for Nathan…..nah!!!!
An Open Letter to Caleb Followill (updated)
February 2, 2009
Dear Caleb:
Honey, I just have one request and believe me I truly do love them. They are very cool and sexy. I have no doubt you take very good care of them. But darlin’, please. I mean they gotta be walking around the house at night by themselves at this point.
Don’t you think its time to retire the boots.
Seriously, haven’t you had them long enough?
CALEB: “Thank you England! If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have been able to afford these awesome new Prada boots. I bought them over there in the UK, you know…where Italy is?”
NATHAN:”Shit, this says its the Brit Awards, I thought it was the Academy awards.”
CALEB TO JARED: “Do you think they can tell I just used a darker shoe polish?”
JARED: “Who gives a shit, where the fuck is MY mic? Heads are gonna role! Thank God I found that speech in my jacket pocket left over from the Grammy’s.”
NATHAN: “Thanks Mom and Dad! Love You! BYE (click, dialtone)!”
NATHAN: “Thank you God! Love you! BYE! (click, dialtone)!”
MATTHEW:
CALEB: “I think I feel the Spanish Inquisiton coming on again….uh oh”
NATHAN: “Damn, Caleb!!!!”
LILY: “All over your new shoes!”
JARED: “They still smell better then the other ones”
MATTHEW:
NATHAN: “So this isn’t the Oscars and we didn’t win for best Home Movies? When does the next People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive issue come out? I need to get a jump start on that campaign.”
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Sweet Jesus they are hot!!!! The boots…and the boys!
On The Road; My Journey From Philly to Madison Square Garden
January 31, 2009
On The Road
My Journey From Philly to Madison Square Garden
Concert Ticket $44.00
Ticket Master Service Charge $1000.00
1 warm beer purchased at the Garden $1500.00
Seeing the Kings of Leon LIVE: Priceless
CHECK LIST
Wallet? Check! Keys? Check. Cash? Check! I’m Ready…CRAP! Ticket! Where the fuck is my TICKET…oh in my wallet, never mind (checks wallet 3 more times during course of journey).
I’m on the 6:15 NJ Transit train headed for NYC. The car seems to be filled with mostly commuters and no one really resembling a fellow concertgoer. It’s freezing out and the door won’t close, but that’s OK because I know soon enough I’ll be hot and sweaty.
Being one to battle the anxiety demons a few times in my life, a whole list of “worst case scenario’s” run through my head.
1. We covered the forgotten ticket but there’s also the “been sold a fake ticket by some
Savvy hacker/scalper on line.”
2. Lose or have stolen wallet, purse, keys, ID, or all of the above.
3. Journey home-missing the last train out of NY and having to sleep on the plastic bucket chairs at Penn Station.
I’m taking this journey alone tonight. Unfortunately, my friends are not Kings of Leon fans. Not that they wouldn’t be but most of them are knee deep in newborns, rug-rats, and ‘tweens. Their music library pretty much consists of; The Wiggles, Miley Cyrus, and the Jonas Bros. I have attempted to convert them by bombarding their e-mail boxes with video’s, home movies, and chest hair pictures of the boys but alas, their libido’s are on hold until the kids are off to college.
So to soldier through my long journey, I put on my headphones and cue up the “KOL” play list and get myself in concert mode.
The train fills up with more and more people as we near NYC. I can make out who are the concertgoers by their pack mentality and Jared wannabe hairdo’s.
(Check wallet 4th time to make sure ticket didn’t mysteriously fly out.)
The sudden urge to pee overwhelms me. CRAP! Ok, I’m sure I can hold out until NY.
(If you’ve ever peed in a public rest room in NYC you’ll understand my concern. Especially the Woman’s bathroom no offense sisters, but girls are gross.)
I follow the signs for Madison Square Garden. Awesome, I don’t even have to leave the building.
I’m early, there’s hardly anyone here yet. I glide past the first checkpoint. There’s a Merch table ahead and the “FOLLOWILL” T-shirt catches my eye but I decide against it. I already spent enough money on these boys tonight.
Second check point approaches, my stomach drops knowing this is where I will be turned away because of my bogus ticket.
Hmmm…. I stand corrected, the ticket is legit and I’m ushered through the turnstile.
Upon reaching my seat, I am briefly struck by a wave of altitude sickness and immediately sit down. I swallow a few times to relieve the pressure in my ears and scan the stadium. The stage looks like a miniature doll set. I close one eye and pretend to squish Nathan’s drums with my thumb and index finger. This sucks. At least there’s the Jumbotron.
It’s 8pm and The Whigs just took the stage. I have never heard their music before but I’m willing to be open-minded and I’m eager to see them perform.
The lead singer of The Whigs slurs out a greeting to the audience. Their drum set dwarfs in comparison to Nathan’s. I’m sure a lot dwarfs in comparison to what Nathan has to offer.
Stream of consciousness begins:
OK, half way through song one and I’m done. BRING ON THE BOYS!
If this place doesn’t fill up I’m heading down to below cloud level.
The Whigs look cute from way up here, like cute ant people.
The lead singer seems to have some Michael Flately Irish dance moves going on.
OMG! Is the bassist wearing UGGS?!! Oh No-My bad. Phew!
Ok, I’m getting into it now…not really_BRING ON THE KINGS!!!!!
The Whigs have officially moved from cute ants to sexy ants.
The smoke machine just started, unless Nathan just lit a spliff behind the stage.
Hmmmm I wonder if Nate is left-handed. The drummer for The Whigs has his mike to the right-hand side; Nathan’s is to the left. I noticed while watching the home movies it looked like he was golfing left-handed…did I just write that? I sense a vague hint of stalker behavior in that sentence.
(Note to self: Stop by Bellevue Hospital before heading home.)
The Whig’s “are happy to be here and will now do something off their first album,” so they tell me and the other 4 people in the audience.
Wow this guy is amazing. He’s been dancing around on one leg while playing the guitar for a good 3 minutes. It reminds me of the guys who hung outside the Methadone clinic across the street from my apartment. They could hold a Karate Kid pose for like an hour, it was very impressive.
I love it when rockers do that Mick Jagger thing with their arms. They look all lanky and double-jointed with a touch of cerebal-palsyness. The Whiggles guy just did that (Caleb does it better).
Time check! 8:17! What??? Only 15 minutes went by???
I think I just saw a roadie put a cooler next to Nathan’s drums, wow. Maybe not. but probably.
I wonder if Caleb is puking.
OK, I’m having one of those “I can’t believe I’m actually here,” moments.
As of now I do not have an obstructed view, which is very cool.
OMG! Was that Nathan that just walked by??? No.
(REMINDER: Bellevue)
INTERMISSION
I figure I should make another bathroom run because I know if I go during the concert I will miss something crucial like Nathan doing his first solo or Caleb announcing he’s growing his hair long again.
I head out and walk a mile before I find the first Woman’s bathroom. The line is scary long and all of a sudden I really have to GO. Luckily it moves quickly. I race to the open stall where my theory has been confirmed-women are gross.
I get back to my seat and watch the crew set up. Nacho expertly tapes the cords in place. I don’t really hear any of the famous NACHO chants I’ve heard about. But then again maybe the sound just hasn’t traveled up here yet. I’ll give it another 30 min.
Oh God! I see my view obstruction heading towards me. Damn, he’s got to be 6’4 and he’s acting like an asshole. What a tool. I have no problem kicking him in the back of the head if need be.
Nacho is tuning Matt’s guitar and there’s that cool white bass Jared plays. I would think being a roadie would be a sucky job. But then again I just don’t like to do any sort of heavy lifting, or taping, or cleaning for that matter. I wonder if there are any girl roadies?
The tool and his friends are all tall.
I wonder if the mic height is based on how tall they are. From this level that would make Matthew and Jared ¼” tall and Caleb ¾” tall.
Time check 9:07!!!!WTF!!!
Put down the Bong Nathan, and get your ass out here!
Right now I have the perfect view but I know the John Mayer look-alike Tool Boy and the rest of his kit will ruin it, tall bastards.
As for the crowd…
OMG! HERE COMES KOL!
WOOOOHOOOO!
Again, overwhelming feeling: I can’t believe I’m here!!!!
CRAWL
Ah the sweet smell of pot just filled the stadium, must be Nathan’s natural scent.
TAPER JEAN GIRL
Eh, not a big fan of this song
MY PARTY
This song bugs me because of the whole Rachael Bilson thing…what? Come on dude!
Caleb looks really pumped. And he’s wondering around the stage a lot. I didn’t think they moved. They’re all in their standard black and grey. I love Caleb in a vest. He’s having a good hair night. Jared and Matthew are in leather jackets looking hot (I mean literally).
Jared has some tentacles hair thing happening but it looks cute. He’s got some patchy scruff going on but that too looks good.
(Don’t give up on it honey, you got to go through the bad to get to the good, if not there’s always beard extensions.)
I love it when Caleb mimes the songs, even the hearing impaired can enjoy their live performance. Very generous.
MOLLY’s CHAMBERS
Goddamn people who show up late. Knocking into me, grrrr
It is now officially packed! Wow, Matt is rocking Molly. Go Matty.
CLOSER
Hmm it’s Jared playing the casio not Nacho. Oh well.
Mmm more pot sme…..CRAP!!! Another tall guy just got here and he’s taller then the tool kit squad!!! Is this the song where Matt plays the guitar with his mouth? Tool Guys prevented me from seeing that.
FANS!
MY FAV, I love this song.
REVELRY
A big smile comes across Caleb’s face when the audience sings along. No doubt he’s having a similar “Oh my God I can’t believe I’m here,” moment.
MILK
Another one of my fav’s.
They show fancier video’s on the Jumbtron when the play songs from OBtN album.
The view of the jumbtron is obstructed by the speakers and I can only see half of Nathan but even half a Nathan is still Hot.
I think I’m sweating just as much as Caleb.
Matt’s hair seems a lot longer. I like it better like this.
Caleb is putting his sweat rag to good use.
FOUR KICKS
Oooo cool light show.
Jared goes into headshake mode. Awesome.
WASTED TIME
Eh, I’d rather hear Soft. Matt is rockin out. But when doesn’t he rock out, really.
Caleb SPEAKS!!!
He tells me (ok us, whatever) He’s been dreaming of this moment his whole life.
Through out he thanks everyone over and over. Seems very humble.
Tells everyone to sing along to the next song and we oblige.
SEX ON FIRE
You can hardly hear Caleb sing, especially during the chorus. Caleb seems to get a kick out of this.
My one complaint is there is way too much video of Caleb only. They showed one shot of Jared and I thought my ears were gonna bleed from the girly squeals.
Nate should have a jumbotron dedicated only to him.
I don’t know why they don’t use the jumbotron in the middle. That would’ve been perfect.
(MUST kill Tool. Luckily he only knows songs off of OBtN, He’s freaking out right now).
SLOW NIGHT SO LONG
Oooo Caleb is doing that little dance; he looks like he’s sneaking up behind someone to scare the crap out of him or her. The sneaky dance. TOO CUTE!!!
He’s traveling all over the stage giving the side crowd their own little show.
THE BUCKET
Right now is the time to see them on tour. There’s not a stinker in their song catalog.
Who knows, 20 years from now we may all have to suffer through a Rolling Stones “Steel Wheels” type promotional concert tour just to get to the classics. That and “Caleb Followill Rock of Love,” are my biggest fears.
Tool boy has no idea what this song is.
“Bucket? What Bucket? Why the fuck is he singing about a bucket?”
NOTION
I’ve neglected this song; I have to listen to it more, and again with the awesome video during a latest album song. Caleb is displaying some extra sexy raspiness in his voice during this song. I definitely noticed more clarity and confidence in his singing
MCFEARLESS
Mmm yummy spliff just lit up 2 rows ahead.
ON CALL
Ewww gross, Caleb just spit. Hmmm there’s something about this song he doesn’t like. He’s doing some kind of hand gesture thing to the sound guy. Or else he’s telling Jared to steal home.
USE SOMEBODY
Holy crap the crowd is going bonkers!!!!!
Americans definitely know more from this album then any other album. A little from Because of the Times but not much.
Having a moment….”can’t believe I’m here”…. continue
COLD DESERT
Looks like all the boys around me in the audience are taking the opportunity to make a play on their dates. Interesting. OOPS! Some guy just brushed up against my boob when he walked by, there’s my play for the evening.
TRANI
Clove cigarette smell fills the air.
Wow, this isn’t the reaction I was expecting. Again this is Americans not familiar with anything but their most recent stuff. And where is Jared’s screaming freak-out head banging, gyrating moment. I’m so disappointed. Caleb delivered though.
ENCORE
OOOOOO NATE! Guzzles and chucks!!!
SWEET JESUS!
HOW MUCH HOTTER CAN YOU GET!
I’ve made a new friend while we wait for the encore, a sweet woman who got tickets at the very last minute. She asks me who my favorite King is, Duh… Look at me; I look like I just walked out of Woodstock with all my hippie bohemianess going on. NATE LOVER right here!!!
KNOCKED UP
MANHATTAN
Caleb tells the crowd. This is the Biggest and Best moment of his life. So sweet.
CHARMER
I love this video. Caleb is reenacting it on stage as we speak.
BLACK THUMBNAIL
I think I actually had a little orgasm when he said, “Guitar Go Get Her”!
Wow, Jared booked off stage, maybe he has to pee.
Oh, there’s my beloved Nate front and center. Look at those fucking arms. I just want to lick his TATTS!
Caleb does his cute little double hand wave and throws some lucky soul his sweat rag.
I wonder how much that will go for on Ebay.
Good-bye boys. No doubt they are off to some fabulous after party filled with celebs and beautiful people. I hope they had a blast cause I sure did.
EXODUS
(…Yes, there’s more)
I swear I am being physically carried down the steps of the escalator and out the door by the mass of people exiting the Garden. How the hell did I get outside? My goal was not to leave the building. Oh well, I walk around the corner to get back into Penn Station. I stop at Nathan’s Hot Dogs and get a Nathan’s Lemonade. OMG! Did I subconsciously stop here? Hmmmm… too ladylike to make any Nathan’s Hot Dog jokes but definitely
wondering if his tattoo’s taste like lemonade. Yes, it’s my fantasy and they most definitely do.
I make my way to NJ Transit gate area and wait for the 11:40 train to Trenton. I eavesdrop on a group of girls who are imitating Calebs sneaky dance and listen to them trying to mimic his hi-pitch squeal that ends up being a lot more annoying then cute. I watch a group of young boys in their tight jeans and long hair pretend to watch the monitor while sneaking glimpses of the girls and their antics. Supportive fathers who escorted their sons to the concert are now stressing over the train schedule departure times.
I get on a double-decker commuter train and take the first seat I can find. The girl next to me rolls and unrolls the KOL poster she bought, and the boy in front of me calls his mom to tell her he’s on his way home and says, “It was beyond words, Mom.”
I’m kind of glad I have a long commute ahead of me. I’m still wired and my left eyeball is burning. I’m left handed and it’s only my left eyeball that ever hurts. I wonder if Nathan’s left eyeball ever hurts him.
DAMN…. I forgot to stop at Bellevue.
Thanks Guys!
You are blessed.
Von Trapps vs. Followills (a comparative study)
December 30, 2008
It’s hard not to see the similarities of these families of musical genius. Although, most of the comparisons are based on the Von Trapp’s we see in “The Sound of Music,” the basic roots are the same; both families influenced by controlling establishments and conforming to the strict guidelines of someone else’s moral compass only to break free and express themselves in a profoundly creative way.
The similarities hardly end there. In a more detailed analysis we can see not only the family reflections but the individual ones as well. Yes, there are only 3 brothers and a cousin in the Followill clan and 7 in the Von Trapp tribe but upon further inspection isn’t there a little bit of the Von Trapp’s in all of the Followill’s?
Liesl, the oldest daughter and most prominent character among the children can easily be compared to Caleb Followill. Her leadership and eloquent singing are equal to that of Kings of Leon’s front man. Her rebel late night romps with Rolf the messenger boy no doubt reminds us what a rock star/groupie pursuit may be like, just add drugs, booze, condoms and stir.
When it comes to Jared he seems to be a bit of a mix. Gretl the youngest and often seen with a furrowed brow bring to mind Jared but it is Kurt’s tell it like it is attitude that most resembles the youngest Followill. Much like Kurt it isn’t hard to see Jared hiding a frog in his governess’ pocket just for kicks. My guess is in the Followill scenario Nathan would probably catch it then try to smoke it.
Matthew Followill reminds us of the soft-spoken Brigitta with the knock out smile. No doubt a respected member and probably the smartest. My only reference for this description can be found in the Kings of Leon home movies when Matthew corrects Nathan’s use of the English language, “You drank 5 more beers, not drunk.” Clearly he is the academic of the bunch.
As for Nathan…OK, I can’t compare him to any of them. The man is a wonder.
Even a comparison of Maria and the Followill matriarch Betty Ann can be made. Both have a gift for sewing. Maria, with her resourceful use of window treatments allowing the children to happily romp through the trails of the Austrian countryside. Betty Ann, with her skills to transform thrift store finds into original formfitting outfits that make the young ladies wish they could romp along Jared’s own happy trail.
But as a whole both family units are a team, all surviving and thriving by standing together like an unbreakable levy. Whether it fighting off the Germans or the latest STD they will power through.
Clearly my grueling research for this comparative study will pay off and open the doors for more intense discussions on the subject. No doubt in years to come, when it is proven that the Kings of Leon are a cultural phenomenon, academic courses will be based on their familial construction. I’m just glad I had the foresight to get the ball rolling.
(Sorry, I had a Chocolate in my Peanut Butter moment last night. I watched the Sound of Music while listening to KOL. God only knows what they are really like. I get all my info from the 2 min. clips I find on You Tube. Jared may be deathly afraid of frogs for all I know! I think I’m done with all my tall tales of the Followill’s ( unless the masses demand more of course), I’m just about ready to move onto MGMT. Stay tuned.)
Christina
REJECTED!!!!! T SHIRT REQUESTS
December 27, 2008
Those Mother F***ers! WTF!!!
My T-shirt design for the KOL contest was REJECTED!! Apparently It falls under this category:
DesignByHumans reserves the right to reject any submission that it deems in its sole discretion to be vulgar, profane, offensive, or inappropriate.
Thats everything the GUYS are!!! What a bunch of P***y’s! Check out my design below and tell me its not absolute GENIUS!!!!
Whatever, bastards…you suck Humans!
…and I kept it CLEAN! I may just have to redo it and really make it vulgar, inappropriate, profane and offensive.
Stay Tuned!
It Ain't Hemingway 